Diaper Bags

I have been a pretty good researcher, I knew I wanted a Skip Hop diaper bag and the messenger bag seemed like a good choice because it was larger than most Skip Hop bags. I wanted lots of pockets and I wanted it to be gender neutral so Gabe would be fine carrying it too. I am not fond of diaper bags with characters or foofoo baby things on it. The babies aren't carrying them, the parents are. We registered for the bag, but didn't get it at the shower, but we did get lots of Target gift cards. So I ordered the messenger in Red and was so excited to get it, but when i got it, I was far from excited. It was NOT the bag for us! The storage space was ridiculous. At first I thought I would just deal with it and carry two bags if need be, but after holding it and putting things in it I realized that it really was not worth the $79 we paid at Target. I ordered it online and figured returning it would be horrible. NOT the case! I was able to go online and print an invoice and am now able to take it back to the local Target store. How about that?

So I put on my research cap again and this time I used Mr. Google and threw in the word spacious and twin diaper bag. Low and behold a Skip Hop appeared. A Skip Hop I hadn't seen before. A Skip Hop with far more space for both our little buggers things. The Skip Hop Duo Deluxe. I read all the reviews and they were great many mentioning twins and stroller clips. I was sold. the better news was that it is was only $80 on Amazon.com. So I got the bigger bag for the same price and this time, no tax! Hahaha!!! It should be here next week, lets just hope I love it as much as I think I will.
Our Pack n' Play arrived. The Pack n' Play which will be the boys sleeping place for the first few months. I can't wait to get it put together and put it in our room. Even more than that I can't wait to see both our healthy babies sleeping in it.
Things are starting to feel so real. It is hard to imagine two little creatures will be in this house soon. All reservations aside, I truly am so excited and blessed, but it is hard for me to fully show it because I am scared. There you have it... My name is Tiffany and I am scared to be a Mother of twins. I have been a downer lately and am trying like hell to pick myself up and convince myself that I can do this and that it is going to be amazing and THEY ARE BOTH GOING TO BE HEALTHY. I cannot wait to hold them and see who they look like, I can't wait to comfort them and protect them, so what am I so afraid of?

Financially I am terrified, I wonder if I will even have a job to go back to, and I wonder how we will deal with this new cut that Gabe just got at work. I wonder how we will pay for health insurance for the boys, and how we will come up with the $1,500 deductible when they are born. I wonder where in the world the money will come from to pay for daycare, or who will be watching the boys for that matter. I am a numbers and a planner girl, it is what I do for a living so this scares me. I try not to think about it and just take each day as it comes, but well.. that wouldn't be me if I didn't plan. It scares me to not have financial stability, it scares me that I can't predict our expenses or my income.

On another note, Gabe and I are both really tired of the "your life is over stories." We know our life isn't over, and it is pretty sad when no one has good stories to tell us. All they want to tell me about is how hard breastfeeding is, how I will get no sleep, poop stories, and how much the boys will cost us in diapers. Okay people we got that, now can you please tell us about your babies first smile and how it melted your heart, and tell us about how awesome it is to see the bond between your twins? The guys at work have been giving Gabe a pretty hard time, telling him he will never go golfing or sleep again. We know that isn't true, but we also know it isn't going to be easy on either of us. We know things are going to be rough, and we are up for the challenge. We were feeling better last night, because we realized that the bad days would pass, and the good days will out weigh the bad, and that no matter what we have each other and that our dreams are coming true.

No amount of crying or sleepless nights can over come the joy we will get when our boys reach for us to be held, the joy on Gabe's face when he first lays eyes on the boys, the tears of joy my Mom will cry when she holds her Grandson's, the day we bring two healthy babies home from the hospital and get to go on the web cam and show my Mother-in-law her twin Grandsons, and our Niece and Nephew their new cousins. The day they call us Mama and Dada, the day they smile, the day they laugh, holidays, I could go on and on and on... the point is that yea, I probably won't sleep much and I am sure I will break down in tears numerous times from being overwhelmed, but it is all so worth it. This bedrest is so worth it, the IVFs were so worth it. We are going to be parents! No one ever said being parents was easy, but they do say it is rewarding.


Carol said...

Huge (((hugs))) Tiffany - it sounds like you could use a cheering up today. I've been reading about your pregnancy online, but this is the first time I'm leaving a comment.

You have done so well on bedrest, your boys will be amazing weights - and hopefully will have little, if any, NICU time! Being a first time mom can be daunting, especially when you have two to look after. But I just wanted to share that being a MoM to twins is amazing.

My twins are now 2-1/2 years old and it's been the best thing to watch them grow up together. The first time you know that they really see each other, well, your heart will just melt. And talk to them now, set the ground rules down about sleeping (LOL) they might just listen to you! My twins were very easy babies (not sleepers - we didn't have the talk early enough I guess), but during the day they were such laid back little ones. I loved their baby stage.

Try not to worry - I know, easier said than done, but you have already shown your boys what a great mom you'll be. You're doing EVERYTHING you can for them before they are even born.

(((hugs))) Bedrest sucks, but you are in the countdown now!
Carol (from FF)

Hernandez Clan said...

Hey there Tiff.

I wonder how you sometimes hear all the horror stories and don't just shake your fist in the air screaming "shut up everyone" but I suppose you MAY do that :)

I agree with you. It's hard. 3 kids later each kid has soo many great things they do that make you smile. You even know of a few first hand from our experience.

Neya: she drives us NUTS but how many times do all of us smile when we utter the words SEEBEE SEEBEE at the MOST frustrating of times!

Carina: She is soo bright. of course all the baby stuff is great but look at who she has become. What a grown up girl at only 10. its amazing to me!

Rian: the most recent of the babies. We took him home WITHOUT his feeding tube (that the doctors said he needed). I stayed up pretty much 48 hrs trying to teach him how to use a bottle (things most parents take for granted when their babies are born "normall"). I cried each time we tried to feed him and he didn't do it. I cried when he would cry because I was TOO stubborn to put the feeding tube back in and make his belly completely full. BUT more than anything I cried the 3rd day he was home. Because he drank his FIRST FULL BOTTLE. I cried so hard knowing that despite all the bad stuff the docs told me and all the horror stories of heart babies the parents told...I was able to nurture my baby the way I needed to. To this day I get choked up thinking about that very day.

You tiff will enjoy every smile, coo and even poopy diaper because you have simply waited soo long. I am so happy to finally hear you say you want to hear the good stories. They are what make the family and at the end of every long day or night I can promise that when you put them to bed or get up in the middle of the night you will think of the milestones you hit that day. Even if its something silly like "today was the first day poop didn't explode out of the diaper" or "today was the first day they looked at me and SMILED" or "today was the first day Gabe and I remembered to kiss eachother before tending to the babies needs" haha.

So many folks want to scare you, but just look for the up sides and if I know you at all you totally will. Sorry I rambled. i just love you both so much I want you to know that sure there are struggles, rough days and such but in the end the only things that really matters are the smiles, the laughs and even the tears of joy over the simplest things.

one day you will be begging the babies to sleep and give you 5 free minutes and the next you will have to tell yourself "i just checked on them 5 minutes ago, they are fine...just SLEEPING".

hugs Tiff!

MJS said...

It can be very hard hearing all the bad stories, but just remember their stories are just that. What they have to say is sometimes good to hear so you are prepared but the joys of having those sweet baby boys will far outweigh the bad. I am a mom to 7 year old twins. My boys were born 9 weeks premature and spent a good amount of time in the NICU. That time was hard but I would come in the morning to get the report on the boys and the nurse would tell me the boys just cried and cried and were so upset and nothing they did calmed them down. They decided to put my babies together in an isolette for a while and they calmed and held hands! That story warms my heart. To know that they needed and missed each other that much! There will be days that it is hard. My husband left when my boys were 6 months old! I was a single mom to twins that had special health needs but I did it and with a smile on my face. Just remember the love those boys have for you when you look in their tiny little faces as you put them to bed. This too shall pass!! Can't wait to see these baby boys!! Good luck :)

Michelle said...

Hey! A lurker here...but I just wanted to let you know that I LOVE, LOVE my Skip Hop diaper bag!! Great choice! My good friend and I both have the Duo Double and can't say enough good about them. Enjoy!
Oh, and don't worry about everyone's stories....yes, there are definitely tough days, but there are SO many more wonderful ones....and it's all a learning experience =)
Good Luck!

Meant to be a mom said...

Ok first of all the diaper bag looks fabulous. I hope its what your wanting.
Second. I know what you mean about the money, We are only having one and I'm totally freaked out. But I have faith it will just sort of fall into place. I hope thats true for all of us IVF mommies that are poor from all the treatments.
Last I hear all the time "get the sleep while you can", "enjoy your time with each other while you can". Like we won't ever get rest again. I am fully aware that I will probably be a tired grumpy biotch of a mommy when mine comes for just a little while when we are trying to adjust but its all worth it like you said. And also its not like we will never ever go do anything and our life is ending. Our lives are finally beginning. You and your hubby are being blessed with two beautiful babies. Your life is just starting. But I know exactly what you mean when you say people are always saying enjoy this and that now. So annoying.

Ok I'm done ranting. I'm glad your good though and things are getting closer!!!

Jess said...

Score on the bag!

I'm with you...nothing will ever make you think your life is over because you tried everything to have them! I cringe when my friends say "why are you trying so hard for kids? Your life is better without them, trust me!" I'm like wtf, would you say that to your kid's face? No my friend, you aren't going to have bad stories, just hard days but what is life without a few bumps?

It is getting real...can't wait to see their beautiful faces!


Jess said...

Score on the bag!

I'm with you...nothing will ever make you think your life is over because you tried everything to have them! I cringe when my friends say "why are you trying so hard for kids? Your life is better without them, trust me!" I'm like wtf, would you say that to your kid's face? No my friend, you aren't going to have bad stories, just hard days but what is life without a few bumps?

It is getting real...can't wait to see their beautiful faces!


Mama Tina said...

Ok....I am now crying for the second time today, where you are involved. You already know about the first time (on the phone) the part about Gabe seeing his two little boys for the first time, started the water works this time, and continued on when I realized I won't be there when my baby grandsons are born. My two little twin boys who are about to be born to the best parents a child could dream for. It will all fall into place Tiff...mark my words. Mother Nature has a way to help you with all you are about to experience.

Booger (Gabe) is a big boy, he can shake it off, in meaning the comments made at this point. He's smart enough to know it's only ribbing from the "Guy's". I know you IRL and you will have this all down in no time at all. I have watched you grow from a little giggly teenager to the beautiful young Mother you are today!!!

Yours and Gabe's IVF Journey is about to end.....with your new journey of becoming parents to begin. I am very proud to say I am your MIL, not to mention Gabe's Mama.....and soon to Mima to Aaden and Noah!!!

I love you....


Helene said...

Tiffany, you will love your Skip Hop Duo diaper bag!!! Can you believe I went through 8 diaper bags before I finally heard about that one and I ordered it and it's been worth every penny! Some of my friends were shocked that I'd pay that much for a diaper bag but it's been a huge lifesaver. I can fit all the diapers in there, wipes, first aid kit, change of clothes for each kid, snacks, sippy cups, diaper creme, kleenex, etc, etc. And I still have room for my wallet, my phone, my keys, chapstick....

Oh and what I love best is that it attaches right to a side-by-side stroller!!! I just know you will LOVE your bag!

I have such strong opinions of those people who want to tell you their horror stories. Like you, I wonder why don't they tell you the good things, like you mentioned. I'll admit when people ask me what it's like with twins in those first weeks, I'll be honest with them and say it's rough. But that doesn't mean I'd trade it for the world, nor does it mean I hate my life or my kids.

You and your husband's lives will change. That's a fact. But it will also be more enriched and full of so much love you think your heart might just burst because it's so full.

Hang in there!!!

ks and jd said...

Its' totally normal to be scared. It's okay! And it will be okay! Sure you might have some long nights, some poop, and count the pennies, but you will have your family...The boys, your hubby, mom, etc...everyone who loves you supporting and cheering you guys on.

You can do this! And the rewards are the hundred little things that happen throughout the day. Wishing you nothing but the best!