I Graduated!

I have graduated from my RE to my OB, things went beyond perfect today. Both babies are starting to actually look like babies. One is measuring right on track at 8w1d and the other 1 day ahead at 8w2d. The RE called the larger one "a bruiser" and my response was "just like Daddy!" We heard both heartbeats, which were amazing and both beating around 160 bpm. This is starting to actually feel real. I still can't believe it!

Sorry for the crummy picture, I didn't scan it... I just took a picture. Maybe I will scan it in later.

Couldn't resist, had to buy something for the babes.


8 Week Raspberries, I LOVE Raspberries especially with Chocolate

Your baby is growing like mad, putting on about a millimeter every day and continuing to straighten out in the trunk. Though you can't feel it yet, baby is moving those little arms, legs and (now only slightly) webbed fingers and toes like crazy.

Last night we heard a heartbeat for the first time, we were in awe. I was able to find it at home on the home fetal doppler. Didn't find two, but I pray we see both little heartbeats tomorrow to put my mind at full ease.

Tomorrow is a another BIG day and what we hope is our last RE appointment. Oh how I pray that both babies are thriving and the appointment goes smoothly. I love you more and more each day little pumpkins!


Dear Pumpkins

Dear Little Pumpkins,

We have waited so very long to have you in my tummy. Part of me still feels like this is a dream and at any moment I will wake up. I love you more and more each day, you have made me so very happy. We are now on a new journey and this journey is even more terrifying than the last. Please continue to grow strong and healthy, you are so very loved by so many people. Oh, and if you can please stop scaring your Mommy that would be great, smooth sailing from here on out. On Thursday we will see you again, I can't wait to see how much you have grown. Stay strong little pumpkins. We love you!

Mommy & Daddy


An Awesome Gift and Tahoe Fun

Isn't that just the cutest thing ever?  Our good friends R.C. and Andrea got these for us.  Last night we were surprised to find a package on our doorstep.  Gabe looked at me and said"what did you buy?"  I swore I bought nothing, and I didn't.  It was a FANTASTIC gift for the babies from some FANTASTIC friends.  We love you guys and can't wait to see you next month in Vegas.  Yahoooo baby bump for your wedding, just as we both hoped.
My BFF Susie whom is also amazing knew how hard it was getting for me to fit into clothes, so she bought me a new outfit for Valentine's Day and took my out to dinner.  Awwwww how I love her.  I decided to take a pic so you could see the 7 week belly bump, or maybe it isn't baby, but more just bloat.
Daddy and Memphis in North Lake Tahoe
Our Snowman
Mommy and Memphis
Memphis with one ear up and one ear down, he does this a lot.

Is he swimming in the snow?
Mr. Phe playing in the snow for the first time.
Hey Mom, what is this stuff?  I love it!

Mom eating snow.
Phoenix and his snowballs, poor guy.
A long drive and a little morning sickness.


Our Little Blueberries, 7 Weeks

Baby's brain -- both hemispheres! -- is growing fast, generating about 100 new cells every minute. Arms and legs are emerging as joints start to form, and a permanent set of kidneys (baby's third!) is now in place.

Our little berries are 7 weeks today! Things are moving right along, my morning sickness isn't as bad as last week, which is worrying me, but I am told that is perfectly fine. I feel good and am now used to the idea of twins and am VERY excited. We go back again next week for what should hopefully be our final RE appointment.

This weekend we went to Lake Tahoe (will post pics and video soon) we managed to find ourselves in Reno at Cabela's hummmmmmmmmm how did Gabe swing that? Anyways we made our first purchase for the babies and Gabe was very excited about it, and I think it is pretty cute too.


If Ya Had to Pick Just One.....

If you could only pick one shirt which would it be? I am SO in love with the stuff on http://www.cafepress.com/ I could go crazy. Just type in IVF, miracle, or twins. A Mama could go broke, but I won't... just one shirt, which should it be?

Look at these... The babies will get something, I just haven't decided what yet.


Still In Shock, and a Recap

I hardly slept a wink last night (which is unusual for me lately.) My mind is going a mile a minute. I finally "believe" I am pregnant, but now I have a new concept to grasp. TWO babies! Holy moly.

I feel bad and maybe a little greedy? I feel for my fellow infertiles, I feel like I got more than I "needed". I know how bad it aches to want a baby and now here I am with two and I ache even more for them and wish I could take away their pain. I thank them from the bottom of my heart for still visiting my blog. I remember all too well how much it stings a little to visit a pregnant women's blogs even though they too struggled and gave me hope, there were still only "certain" days I could visit that blog. With IF comes a lot of envy and I understand that girls, each of you remains in my thoughts and prayers.

I have been asked for the details of yesterday, and honestly I wish I had more. The fact is I was in such shock that everything else sort of went out the window, I didn't ask everything I wanted to ask, and I didn't pay as close attention as I wish I had. I was horribly sick yesterday morning, I believe that some of that came from nerves, but I also feel that I wasn't as nervous as I thought I would be. The drive was quiet we were afraid to talk about things that would happen after the appointment because we were unsure of what our moods would be in just a couple hours. I am so used to disappointment that it is hard for me to believe that good things can happen for me (in regards to IF and babies).

The receptionist greeted us, and of course no need to ask names because this is my home away from home and hey she should know my name I practically paid her annual salary. As I approached the u/s machine my heart began to beat a little faster, I knew my fate relied in the hands of that machine. I noticed that the machine was set up differently (for an OB appointment) and this feeling of joy ran over me. I undressed and hopped up on the table and of course we had to do I normal stick.... "whopper with cheese." Okay I know it is stupid, but we have these rituals at each appointment the FIRST and IT IS A MUST.. is the Grammy Bus. See Stanford has these shuttle buses that go all around the campus and wouldn't you know it, each of them in huge letters is called MARGUERITE, well for those of you who don't know, my Grammy's name is Marguerite, so I HAVE to see a "Grammy Bus" before I go into an appointment. Yesterday no sooner did I say "I need a Grammy Bus (in a desperate voice)" it appeared, in fact I saw another one as we pulled into the parking lot, so we were covered on the Grammy Bus end. 2nd ritual is to say the Our Father and Hail Mary in the elevator... check. Lastly, is the "Whopper with cheese." Okay so let me explain, have you ever been to Burger King? Have you notice that they repeat your order in a microphone which sits near the register? Well at our very first appointment my dear husband coined the light that is attached near the stirrups "the Burger King microphone." To his defense, it does resemble it, it bends, and it's metal... so, at each appointment before the RE comes in, we bend the light, tap it, and say in a silly voice "whopper with cheese." This has happened even when I am alone, it is a ritual what can I say?

It was time, the RE entered with a smile. She asked how I was feeling and my famous word flew out... NERVOUS. She said that was normal and turned out the lights. I couldn't look at the screen, I watched her instead. Her first comment was "your ovaries are still a little large." Next came a smile, so I figured she saw the sac, but I still waited to turn my head. She then said "looks like you are going to be busy next year," with an even bigger smile on her face. "It's two!" At this point Gabe came closer and I turned my head to see for myself and there it was two perfect little sacs. I knew what I was looking for, I am a googleholic now and I already googled 6 week u/s on google images. So, I knew, but poor Gabe was lost so she showed him the blob in each sac. At this point I was overcome with this emotion I had never had. It was this belly laugh mixed with happy tears, and in a way it was bit embarrassing, because I couldn't stop. She found baby #1's heartbeat right away, and it was an amazing little flicker, my heart melted, but I was still laughing. Then she moved onto baby #2 and my giant belly laughs made it had for her to find the babies heartbeat. DH told me to think about something else. Humm, what in the heck else am I supposed to think about? Eventually she found it too and was very impressed with our little over achievers. She said to see a heartbeat that strong on BOTH babies at 6w1d was VERY good and the chance of miscarriage at this point was slim. We were told to come back in two weeks and to make an appointment with my OB as well for 3 -4 weeks from now. We asked about going to Tahoe this weekend and she as fine with it, just encouraged me not to ski, which of course I wasn't planning on. I am planning on relaxing and reading pregnancy books. OMG how long I have longed to read these books, they are probably outdated now. I bought them when we got pregnant in 2006. Can they expire? Hey, rules can change.

We got sent to the basement lab to check my thyroid levels and wouldn't ya know it NO CELL SERVICE. Wow, that was hard. We waited almost 30 minutes and I was on the edge of my seat wanting to spread the news to my friends and family. We called very close family and of course we had to joke a little. We said "we didn't see A heartbeat, but we saw TWO!" Reactions were screams of joy and shock. We were starving so we only made a few calls to parents and my Grammy. I sent a mass text with the same phrase and during my P.F. Chang's lettuce wraps got blown up with about 25 "OMG!!!!!!!!!!" It was amazing and surreal.

We stopped off at Babie's R Us, I remember eyeing this store not too far from the clinic over a year ago and told myself that someday we would be going there. The whole day was just a dream. I bought preggie pops (lifesaver for my yucky tummy) and also a pregnancy journal. Oh why yes of course we had to check out double strollers. Youch, expensive.

Today it is setting in a little more, I am getting excited, but yes NERVOUS. I wish I could lose that feeling.

We love you little Pumpkins, we were ecstatic to see your yesterday. Please continue to grow strong for your Mommy and Daddy, you are so VERY loved.



Oh my goodness, oh my goodness, oh my goodness, oh my goodness, oh my goodness, oh my goodness, oh my goodness, oh my goodness, oh my goodness, oh my goodness, oh my goodness, oh my goodness, oh my goodness, oh my goodness, oh my goodness, oh my goodness, oh my goodness, oh my goodness, oh my goodness, oh my goodness, oh my goodness, oh my goodness, oh my goodness, oh my goodness, oh my goodness, oh my goodness, oh my goodness, oh my goodness, oh my goodness, oh my goodness, oh my goodness, oh my goodness, oh my goodness!

We have been DOUBLY blessed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
IT IS TWINS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TWINS!!!!!!!! TWINS!!!!!!!!!

We saw both heartbeats nice and strong and both babies are right on track. We are so pleased, but also in pure shock. More details to follow.


6 Weeks, Our Little Sweet Pea

Only one more day! I am so nervous, I pray that this appointment will be one I cherish forever. The morning sickness, or shall I say mostly afternoon/night sickness has set in. Oh how long I have wished for morning sickness. I was sick all day yesterday and even threw up last night, and guess what? I LOVE IT! It makes me feel like things are going as planned. For now this is all I have to go off of. That and the ocassional HPTs I still take, not sure why, but I do. I will be a nervous wreck tomorrow and hopefully it is all for nothing. We may or may not see a heartbeat tomorrow. At 6w1d it is hard to say, usually they are spotted at some point during the 6th week. OF COURSE I want to see it, what a great Valentine's Day that would be. We love you LP!

Growing like crazy, baby is starting to sprout eyes, ears, nose, cheeks and chin. Those little hands and feet- still webbed like paddles- might wiggle by week's end, the heart is beating (almost twice as fast as yours!), and blood is starting to circulate.

This week's major developments: The nose, mouth, and ears that you'll spend so much time kissing in eight months are beginning to take shape. If you could see into your uterus, you'd find an oversize head and dark spots where your baby's eyes and nostrils are starting to form. His emerging ears are marked by small depressions on the sides of the head, and his arms and legs by protruding buds. His heart is beating about 100 to 160 times a minute — almost twice as fast as yours — and blood is beginning to course through his body. His intestines are developing, and the bud of tissue that will give rise to his lungs has appeared. His pituitary gland is forming, as are the rest of his brain, muscles, and bones. Right now, your baby is a quarter of an inch long, about the size of a lentil bean.http://www.babycenter.com/


25 Things About Me

Anyone on Facebook has seen this going around, I was going to post it on Facebook, but decided instead to post it here. Yes, I am bored. I fell asleep last night (Friday night) at 8:30, which is something I have been doing often, but for some reason after my 2nd potty break of the night I couldn't go back to sleep, so here I am.

1) I married an amazing man on August 28, 2004
2) Our first date was Halloween 1996, and it was a group date in a cemetery
3) We officially started dating October 11, 1997
4) I have a cat name Oz who weights 19 pounds and has been hospitalized twice, each costing a pretty penny
5) I have two dogs, sometimes I wonder why, and other times I wonder what I would do without them and Mephis' puppy breath
6) I love Mexican food and seafood
7) I started watching Elianna overnight when she was 2 weeks old and I don't think we have ever gone more than a month since then
8) I have a slight heart murmur and a knee that sounds like rice krispies
9) I love food and I love to cook
10) I have a binder full of all my favorite recipes, so that it is easy for me to find them, this binder sits on my kitchen counter
11) My Mom has ALWAYS been by my side and is selfless when it comes to me
12) I had surgery when I was five years old to remove rocks from my ear
13) I have acquired a more sensitive nose within the last week, oh and a smaller bladder
14) I have endured a lot of heartache
15) I have an amazing Grammy, which I am going to see today
16) I like to edit and create movies on my Mac
17) I wish I could speak Spanish and had a talent
18) I have 8,700 photos on my computer and 2,364 songs on my ipod
19) I love Country music and reality TV
20) I look forward to morning sickness
21) I have wanted to be a Mom since as long as I can possibly remember
22) Gabe and I moved to Southern California for 6 months, other than that I have always lived in Napa
23) I am slightly frugal and I started my IRA when I was 18 years old and have always contributed at least 8% of my pay per month to it
24) I have been at the same job for almost ten years, they are like my family
25) My favorite vacations are always spent near the ocean


5 Weeks

Yes, that is right. 5 weeks today, we love you LP!

Your embryo (looking kind of like a tadpole) is starting to form major organs (heart, kidney, liver, stomach) and systems (nervous, circulatory, digestive). Baby's presence in your uterus triggers production of hCG (the hormone detected by pregnancy tests)... which triggers production of other hormones like estrogen and progesterone... which trigger all those great symptoms you've probably been noticing!


Hard to Fit In

Where do I belong? I am having a hard time fitting in on the pregnancy side of the message boards. I still find myself oddly jealous of the women that are pregnant. I am also not allowing myself to believe that I belong on that side, I keep finding myself drifting over to the IF side of the boards. I feel as if I can't comment in on symptoms and yada yada because mine just isn't as real as theirs and what if I don't remain on that side of the board?

I am having a VERY hard time thinking any further than tomorrow with this pregnancy. I feel as if thinking too far ahead might be jinxing something. Last night a new pregnancy on DH's side of the family was announced, and I found myself with my same old feelings of jealousy and envy. WTF? Why is it so hard for me to enjoy this?

So, I have been asked numerous times how I am feeling, and my response is "nervous." What is that? How about tired, excited, blessed, thrilled that we reached a point we have been striving to meet... but yet I can't. What am I so afraid of? What am I trying to prepare people and myself for? Why am I such a pessimist? Why can't I just let myself relax and enjoy? And maybe for at least one hour I could stop running to the bathroom to check out what's going on.

LP we love you SOOOOOOOOOOOO much. Please please please continue to grow and stay stuck for Mommy and Daddy. We are awaiting your photo debut in just 9 short days.

Off to bed at 7 p.m., the bed time just keeps getting earlier and earlier.