All Over The Place

This blog post is going to be all over the place.  I am going to try to play some catch up and fill you in on our crazy lives.

Today marks 10 days until baby Hudson's arrival.  Just TEN days!  In the evenings I begin to wonder if we will make it 10 days.  I am having some major cramps and aches going on and some definite contractions,  but still nothing consistent.  By the time 7 p.m. hits I can hardly walk from all the work and chaos from the day.

At my 37 week appointment things went fine.  It was the 2nd week in a row I have not gained any weight, but the doctor was okay with it.  I have still gained just 21 pounds.  This is thanks to being off work I imagine and chasing after the boys... we NEVER stop.  I try VERY hard to stop while they nap in the afternoon, but that is also the time I get stuff done so it rarely happens.

This Thursday will be my LAST OB appointment and my LAST NST.  The following Thursday the 25th DH and I plan to take our little munchkins somewhere special ALL day and make the day ALL about them.  Then... we will drop them off at my Grandma's house.  We had to change it up a bit because Friday morning I check in at 5 a.m., which would mean Gram would have to get up around 3 a.m. to be here.  So now they will spend an extra night with her.  She will drive them back here Friday to meet their little Brother.  SO SURREAL!

So we all know that my little duo makes me SO proud, but there is another man in my life that makes me just as proud.  Makes me burst with smiles and feel like the luckiest woman alive.  That would be my talented husband!  He has been in a a band for awhile now, but this last year they changed some members and really stepped it up a notch.  They are sounding amazing and getting a great following.  Last week they were honored to be asked to play at our local county fair, while to some this may not sound like much, but really for us.. well it's the big time.  What greater local exposure?  And let me tell you HE HIT IT OUT OF THE PARK.  On Sunday he had another gig at a local restaurant.  My phone mic was acting up so I am hoping you could hear some of it.  Thankfully the mic problem was an easy fix, but the videos are still quiet.  The band is on a little break now do to Hudson's arrival, but I will try again in October when they resume.

The Bugs are doing great and still THRIVING with Mama home.  It's amazing the changes that can happen with Mommy home.  We are still in debates about what will happen come December with me working.  We are thinking we might try like heck to come up with a super tight budget so I can stay home and just go in Thursdays when we have free help.  We have also been throwing around the idea of me picking up a night job maybe two nights a week.  In a perfect world we could swing me staying home, but we all know this world isn't prefect, so I am still asking around and trying to find some options that don't cost as much as I am making that day at work.  In all honesty, the more I stay home the more I love it.  When I was working I loved doing both, but I know now how much I really do love being home.  I cannot imagine how all this crap at home did or will get done if I worked two or three days a week.  I am ALWAYS busy!  

I have some shots of our maternity shoot I want to be sure and post here because soon enough we will be bombarded by photos of Hudson and the maternity photos will be old news.  This is not all of them, the rest are still being edited.

One Daddy's biggest fans!

A glimpse of the fair

A "Hi Mama!" always melts my heart

 So proud of his shirt
 The diaper drama continues.  Note the diaper on the mantel and the diaper in mid air.
 37 Weeks
 The back-up singers
 Hey No-ey you think I can pass the jeep in front of us?

 This is what happens when I bring a new baby item into the house

Look Mom I found this growing on the plant and I picked it and took a big bite!


Baby Shower

When asked numerous times if I was having a baby shower, my answer was always "no."  I was under the impression that with second babies you didn't have a shower and I was totally fine with that.  I mean we had a huge blowout for the boys shower and we still had much of their things left over for Hudson.  So what if buggie boy had all hand me down blankies and clothes?

Well my wonderful friends had a different idea.  They felt Hudson and I needed a little spoiling too.  Much to my surprise a shower was brewing.  I found out a couple weeks prior to the shower and was delighted to say the least.  It was just perfect!  An intimate girls brunch where I could spend time with some wonderful girls and Hudson was blessed with some special blankies, clothes, and toys just for him.  Sweet boy does need to know how much he was/is loved too.

I had no idea the theme or who would be there.  It was fun not knowing the details.  The girls did an A-MAZING job!  The brunch was amazing as was the company.  Andrea out did herself with the sweetest diaper cake and gorgeous farm themed cupcakes.  Susie outdid herself with the amazing food and decorations.

All in all it was a beautiful day where I could get away and relax and feel pampered.  Hudson and I were showered with love.  Huge huge thank yous to Susie and Andrea for the beautiful day, I could not ask for more.  Love you girls!

 Skinny Girl margaritas only became available in my area while I was pregnant, 
so I have yet to try them .  Can't wait!

 Needless to say Gabe was thrilled to see these.

 Auntie Heather came through again with a beautiful hand made blanket.  This time complete with cowboy theme.
 Beautiful, soft, angelic blankie made by my Mom

 Feed the piggie! Aaden loves to feed his piggie change, no doubt Hudson will love it too.

 Yahoo special blankets just for Hudson


Winding Down

The days are winding down.  I am now 36 weeks pregnant, and have just 21 more days left of my old life.  My life with just my two little guys.  Just when things are getting easier we are going to take a huge spoon and stir the pot of life.  Just when running errands got easy, Aaden has started using the potty and we got into a perfect routine, the waves will begin.  Just when I have forgot what sleepless nights (due to children) feels like, they will begin again.  Just when there is not a bottle in sight, they will make their way back.

I would love to tell you all that I am super excited and can't wait for the change, but that would be a lie.  I am SCARED TO DEATH!  I can't quite tell ANYONE this, so I am thankful to get to try to let it all out here, which often times makes me feel better.  I am not sure how I am supposed to be feeling right now so maybe it is normal.  People keep saying "I bet you are so excited?"  I am excited about the baby, but not excited about change and more chaos.

How on earth am I going to do this?  I mean I know I can somehow eventually handle it at home, but will I EVER leave the house?  Will my new reality mean never leaving the house with the three kids?  Are the days of going out to pizza or mexican food over?  Are the days where I can run errands with the kids gone?  I have SO many unknowns right now and that is hard for me!  Who will watch little man when I go back to work?  Does it even make sense to go back to work?  As I run the numbers in my head most all the money I make at work will go to the childcare for the three kids, which seems insane, but then again it keeps my mind working, my foot in the door at work, and gives me some grown up conversation.  So much is up in the air and that makes this Mommy uneasy.  I am NOT good at unknown, I plan EVERYTHING.  You should see my garage.  I now have bags packed for the boys to go to my Grandma's house when the baby comes.

The plan is Gram will come over early Friday morning before we leave for the hospital.  Once baby Hudson is out and we have settled in a bit she will head over to the hospital with the boys so they can all meet baby "Husson."  This is a moment that makes me excited and melts my heart.  They will visit for awhile and then... off they will go to Grammy's for the weekend.  Originally it was only going to be for the night, but since she is feeling well and because my Aunt will also spend the weekend at Gram's the weekend it is!  This took a HUGE weight off my shoulders.  Now I know they will be well taken care of during the day and night and the Daddy can spend the weekend with Hudson and I (which btw is also our seven year anniversary weekend).  My biggest fear for Gram is bedtime, I have somehow raised two kids who only really know sleeping in their cribs in their room.  They are ANGELS at sleeping in their beds and going right down, but throw in a wrench and OH NO!  Soooooo... hopefully it goes okay and Gram isn't high tailing it back to town with them Saturday morning.  I have arranged for a possible sitter Monday and Tuesday days for them.  But as of right now I am not certain if I will be home Monday or Tuesday and not sure if the boys will be home Sunday or Monday.

My bag is somewhat packed, today I will work on toiletries and I guess I better make sure camera and camcorder stay charged up at this point.  You should see the boys corner of the garage where I have packed their things.  I swear sometimes I am SO over the top in planning.  They have a clothes, diaper, and toiletries bag. A back-pack with 10 toys, 2 books, and one puzzle in it.  A gallon of juice, a lunch box full or their favorite snacks, two pack n' plays, and then a note with a list of things to be added last minute: milk, blue sandals, blue sweat shirts, 5 cups, booster seats, 2 pillows, 4 blankets, and blue stroller.  Yes I know right?  Over the top!  But that is me and this is the crap that is going on in my mind and keeps me up at night.  I NEED to learn how to let go.  I also need to learn how to ask for help.  If someone can please send me a way to do that, I would be eternally grateful.

This week has been a rough one for all kinds of reasons, mostly the ups and downs with Gram and some other crap I have been feeling.  But now that we know Gram is healthy I have been working on just concentrating on right now.  Enjoying today and trying not to dwell on some feelings I am having and trying not to worry about the future.  I know somehow it will all work out.

Boys party is 98% done and the big party I am planning for my friend is coming together as well.  My goal for next week is to wrap that up.  Then the following two weeks I can relax with the boys and get last minute Hudson room stuff done and get the house in tip top shape.

Yesterday I had another NST and an appointment, both went great.  The nurse that did the NST was awesome.  She let me look around L&D and pick out my favorite rooms, hehehe.  So just in case the room I had with the boys is taken I know my next couple favorites.  I didn't gain any weight this week, which is fine with me and the doc.  I have gained a total of 21 pounds, which is higher than I planned, but eh oh well.  With only three weeks to go it shouldn't get much higher.  They are guessing Hudson weighs 5.5 pounds right now.  I am measuring 35 weeks instead of 36, but that could be because he is really dropping.  Doc guessed we would have a 7.5 pound baby on August 26th.  Cervix is closed, but shortening and Hudson's head is pushing on my cervix and giving me a truly awkward feeling mostly because he is irritating the cerclage which is a HORRIBLE annoying feeling that makes me feel like I can't move, but also have to pee.  I could really do without that.

In poopy news my disability claim has not even been started, and once it is... it still takes 2 - 3 weeks to see any money.  We are taking it day by day now and trying not to freak out yet.  Thanks to my amazing Grammy she paid off the last of our medical bills (which wasn't all that big anymore), but took a HUGE weight off our shoulders.  So so thankful that I will never have to looks at medical bills in the thousands ever again.  Come January we switch to an insurance which will cost us more per month, but has NO deductible.  It's also a hospital my Mommy works at so it should be GREAT!

This weekend is my "surprise" baby shower.  hahahaaha.  Yup my two wonderful friends Susie and Andrea have been planning a small shower.  I am not up on ANY of the details and not sure who all was invited, but I did find out about it from a few people who didn't know it was a surprise and also because the hostesses wanted to be sure I didn't make any plans for that day.  Truly truly excited to get together to celebrate baby Hudson.


Have You Ever...

Have you ever spent most of the night in bed praying for a miracle?  Praying for a different outcome?  Praying that your problem would magically go away?  I remember all too well what it was like to spend a majority of every night praying.  Praying to become a Mom, and then praying for healthy full-term babies.  Last night, I spent most of the night praying for a miracle for my Grammy.  I prayed that the cancer would just go away.  All I wanted was for it to go away and never come back.

I received a call from Grammy this morning.  When I saw her picture on my phone, I knew this was the call, which was going to tell us the "next step."  I heard her tears, much harder tears that yesterday.  I braced myself and held myself up against the kitchen sink trying to remain as calm as I could for the boys.  Then I detected a hint of laughing in her voice as she yelled... "IT'S NOT CANCER!"  I just kept saying "thank you God!"  It seems that yesterday her doctors office jumped the gun in reading her results to her.  After more thorough review from the specialist, it is NOT cancer, but more a form of pre-cancer that just needs to be watched.  I guess it is hard to explain, so they plan to meet with the specialist tomorrow to go over all the details, but the AMAZING news is she is all clear and nothing further needs to happen.  Thank you thank you thank you God!  And thank you all for your concern and prayers, we are so very blessed yet again.

Today I was delighted to meet up with a long time fertility friend and fellow blogger.  We met in an IVF buddy group on FF back in 2008.  There are five of us girls who have remained close since we met in the group and all of us have been blessed with at least a baby (mostly two) since that time.  Ryan recently moved about an hour away from me so we decided to meet at a museum near her.  The museum was great, I can't wait to take the boys back with the Daddy.  It was so fun to meet Ryan and her kids, we all had a ball.  Well, until Noah had a mini melt down because he was so over tired and we had to struggle to make the walk to the car with no stroller.  We plan to meet up again after baby Hudson comes, maybe somewhere a little closer to me next time.

Aaden rocking out
Noah loved the bubbles and the frogs

Evie & William
Aaden loving the fish
My guys
Noah & Evie.  We joked that they look related.
Aaden is definitely musical
What a fun time!


Special Announcement

AADEN WENT PEE PEE ON THE POTTY!!!!!!!!!!!  Yahoo, this Mommy is over the moon!  I am hoping this is the start of the real training, but who knows maybe it was just a fluke.  And yes of course I took a picture, but I will spare you the pee pee details.  Yahoo to my big boy!

No results yet on Grammy, still waiting on pins and needles.

***Update**** Results are in and it IS cancer.  Please keep us and my Gram in your thoughts and prayers.