10.22.2010

Wow You Have Your Hands Full!

So here's the thing. Maybe I do have my hands full, but how do you respond? EVERY time I am out with the boys I get this. Sometimes it is interchanged with "wow you must be busy!"

So ... how do I respond to these people? They are stating the obvious and while I love that they are acknowledging my boys and I and realizing things aren't a walk in the park, my question is.. how do I respond? And hey I am darn serious right now asking y'all this because I get it almost daily and I would love to have a response. I mean seriously... what do you say?

Random woman "wow, you have your hands full."

Me "uuumm... yes, yes I do."

I mean come on.. what am I supposed to say? What does she want to hear?

(1) Sure do
(2) it's a challenge, but I love it
(3) This is nothing compared to the struggles of infertility
(4) I wouldn't have it any other way
(5) Eh, it's not too bad
(6) Hands are full as is my heart
(7) Oh, I left my other four at home today, this is a piece of cake
(8) Thank goodness for help
(9) I owe my sanity to my non-existent nanny
(10) ... give me your best response readers...

So, those are some of my responses. What about yours? What have you said? And if you are one of those to make that comment, what do you expect to hear in return?

10.15.2010

The 411

So here's what's up! After reading some of your A-mazing comments from some A-MAZING people I decided to keep this blog up because of you girls. This is where I started, to lose this would be like losing a huge part of me and where I came from. I am infertile, and sadly I am sure that will never change, I am a twin Mom and thank the lord that WILL never change. Now I need to find a way to balance both of those worlds in one blog. Polar opposites somehow combined into one. I need to find a way to connect to my other twin Mamas or Mamas to small kids, but also be sensitive to where I came from and who else might be following.

So the plan is to keep it A-GOING, I can't leave you girls and I want to stay a part of your lives and you in mine. I went back and forth about making a 2nd blog more geared to the Mommy side and kept away from the real world (minus Drea of course) where I can vent about laundry, dishes, mobile babies, and real life events, but uh yeah, where in the world will I find time start a 2nd blog and keep it up to date? I can't even keep up with this one. And beyond that give me a break, going private sucks. I am so bad about checking in on private blogs where you need a password or have to be logged in, and the lack of comments bites on private blogs.

I am going to continue blessing your eyes with pictures and videos of our wonderful creations along with brief updates on our crazy lives. Ocassionally I may throw in some stories about some of the struggles we go through, but the REAL vents will happen via gmail chat with my Drea and during a glass of wine with my Susie and oh of course with the Hubs. So, the dirty laundry won't be making its way to my blog, it will stay piled up in our basket at home, every once in awhile I piece might fall in, but for the most part this blog is about being a Mommy to MIRACLES, and while it isn't always easy it IS A-MAZING and fullfilling.

Why am I doing this? Because I can! This IS my blog after all, and the goal is to share our life with good people. So if you aren't good people, and you don't have anything nice to say, and you don't want to read about what it is like to be a working Mommy to twins, then by golly stay the heck away. Just as I have the freedom to write and share, you have the freedom to go away.

Now, onto what REALLY matters:

THE BUGS! MY AMAZING ANGEL BUGS! MY OH SO SMART BUGS!

Hi, bye, Mommy, and Daddy are big time in our house. So are the waves hi and bye, the all done sign while in highchairs, baths, and changing tables (which BTW Aaden, thank you for letting Mama know you are "all done" at the start and all through diaper changes, I get that you don't like it but, eh the other option is rather smelly.) Aaden now tells us when Noah is all done, he points at Noah in the highchair and does "all done." Thanks for watching out for your bro kid.

Last night Aaden dropped his cup and it rolled under the couch (I was in the kitchen) he came to me grabbed me by the hand then brought me to the couch then got down and pointed under the couch, holy moly there it was... his cup I had given him 5 minutes before! What a smart tart!

A few nights ago the boys were down for bed, I heard a small bark from the dog. I went into the boys room and there was Phoenix protecting his babies. Noah pops up and says "dog out!" then lays back down for bed. Noah has also been caught saying "shit!" Yes, I am a horrible Mother I know. I dropped something the other day while him and I were in the kitchen, and yes I said it, it just slipped out and then BAM the parrot copied me. I will pay MUCH closer attention to what I say from now on.

I have started a scrapblog, I am 77 pages in and am LOVING IT. So far it's free, but once I order the book it is obviously going to cost, but what is cool about it is I can share it as a link and on Fac.ebook. So, I hope to be able to share it here too. The book will be from September 12, 2009 to September 12, 2010 full of digitally scrapped pictures. I plan to make a book each year and stay up to date on it for year two, I may also start sharing my pics on here scrapped, because DUH so much cuter. Do people even say Duh anymore? Obviously next years book won't be as large as the first year and thank goodness because it's $1 a page to print. I am still debating on if I will add all the pages, another option is to print them myself and bind them myself, but a hard copy book would be awesome, so we will see.

Now I saved the best for last:

WALKER #2 - PRINCE NOAH BEAR
video

**** Okay okay just because I can't resist here is a sneak peak of the one year book:

http://www.scrapblog.com/viewer/viewer.aspx?sbid=2814739

10.11.2010

A Blog

A Private Blog?

Oh how the sound of it is better and better each day. Why did I start this blog? To fill in friends and family about the progress of our IF journey. What really happened was I met a group of friends that will last forever, friends I had things in common with, friends who's journey's have inspired me, and friends who have lifted my spirits and got me through the hardest time in my life. It also allowed me to document my journey and share my feelings, and to someday show my children.

Did I start this blog for the same reason I want to blog now? Nope! Do I wish my blog wasn't shared with "real life people?" Yup! Do I love my real life people? Yup, but how I wish I could just say what I want without random anonymous comments or wondering if, just maybe a real life person might read this and commenting. Well the obvious answer is to quit blogging, but if I can tell any person going through infertility any piece of advice it would be to join a great IF or IVF group online and to blog your experience. I will never ever regret blogging. However, I think I need to blog in another area and separate from people in real life, because while YES I did have many of my dreams come true, I now have new things to express which may offend people still on the journey, or if I blog about struggles, it may make me sound ungrateful, which by god I am NOT, I thank the Lord almost hourly for my miracles.

No matter what I say I feel ungrateful. And YES I do know I might come off that way because while I was struggling with IF I saw people sound ungrateful, mostly in real life, but also on blogs, and I wanted nothing to do with them. How could someone complain about poop, lack or sleep, pregnancy, money, or a normal Mommy life? It hurt me to hear it, and here I am doing it. Believe me I never thought I would, but I can't sit here and talk about IF much anymore other than the fact that I beat it, and I was blessed, and I want anyone going through it to never give up.

So it only makes sense that I find a new crowd and a new group of friends, and while I hope to remain in contact with some of you whom have become a part of my life, I also hope to meet people with whom I can talk about how tight money is, how my kids scream for now reason, packing diaper bags, or my job. My job in which I am made to feel bad about because I am no longer there full time. My job which I love to pieces, but yet nope I am not willing to work 40+ hours a week, so I get made to feel guilty. Making me feel bad doesn't make me want to work more, it only makes me feel sad that I am not supported. I worked very hard to be a Mom and I stayed with my employer for the last 11 years because I believed I would be supported as a Mom and would be supported working less hours when the time came, but well.. things don't always happen as you plan. For me, I would give up anything to be able to be with my kids two weekdays, and while I didn't think it was going to be huge deal, well, I am reminded of it daily and my lack or time in the office. I could blog and blog about this, and it is yet another reason I am ready to go private or move. I am thinking of just writing in a diary and keeping this blog up just for some updates and pics, because I do believe that maybe some people truly do care about our life and can find hope in our story.

In new news, my sister in laws baby is coming soon, Noah is close to walking, Aaden is too smart for his own good, Noah gives you a kiss when you ask and we are in need of sitters. More... more ... private stuff. Our sitter found a full time job and I am totally happy for her and I think it is for the best. We found a new sitter, whom I have known since I was 5 and I have high hopes it will work out great. Speaking of sitters... ugh to night and weekend sitters. I guess I never imagined we wouldn't have a chance to go out as a couple. I was that girl who ALWAYS watched kids for free, just because. I loved to be around them, I loved to help out, and I wanted the experience. I can think of 5 kids I used to watch for dates, nights, and overnights for free. As my BFF always tells me "you need to find a Tiffany!" Well I guess they don't exist. Or if they do how do you ask? I have sort of asked a couple people, but no go. I never thought it would be hard to find a "date" sitter paid or unpaid, but it is. Gabe and I have yet to see a movie together since bedrest days. Well my Mom offered, which is crazy of her because she also picks up about two full work days out of the month for us, but regardless we are taking her up on it and are going on a date day to the movies this weekend. Have we been out? Yup, a couple times when my Mother In Law was here (thanks Mima) and a couple times when my Mom helped, but most of those times we were with other people. So, now we are going to a movie and lunch alone next week and we are super excited. Today is out 13 year dating anniversary so we have kind of planned to celebrate that at the same time.

So, that is that. I have been lagging on blogging so I will probably just update randomly and keep the "spills" on a private site or in a diary. I do know that no matter what I cherish those friendships I made, and I hope that maybe this blog will give someone else hope that dreams of a family DO come true. Where do you go when you just want to vent? No where? This was supposed to be a sort of diary. So I do regret where it has gone. I need a place where I can vent, a place where I can spill my gutts, a place where I can talk about money problems without being judged, a place where I can discuss struggles with no one IRL knowing. A place where I can treat my blog sort of like a BFF where no one negative can comment or make me feel like crap. Do I feel like crap enough? Yup. Do you Mr. Anonymous need to make me feel more crappy? While struggling with IF did I think other peoples petty problems were ridiculous? Yup! So if you think my petty problems are, I don't blame ya because I thought that when I became a Mom things would be roses, I would have no reason to blog other than sweet stories and pics. Well.. life and problems do still go on, but I AM BLESSED and will never forget that or take it for granted.