Can I Take It?

Oppsss it was generic Pepcid that I bought. Can I take it or should I return it for Zantac?

My pregnancy brain knew it started with a P. I googled it and it seems to be fine, but safe fetus doesn't have it listed.

The bedrest (laying down after or while eating) must be making it worse I can hardly eat anything now without being in pain, which would explain why I haven't gained much weight the last two weeks and was complimented on it, but wait... is that a good thing or a bad thing?

30 Weeks

Today is 30 weeks and I had an OB appointment this morning. All is well and in fact my cervix is measuring around a 2. So it has lengthened a bit from last week. She said even if she was very very conservative on the measuring I am still around a 1.6. Huh? I will take it. I thought we were done with those, but she wanted to do it anyways. I am done with them at the Peri's office.

Noah is head down and Aaden is some what as well. Fluid level was good and cervix is nice and closed. I bought some heartburn medication yesterday and meant to ask her if I could take it and of course I forgot. Does anyone know? I think I bought generic Prilosec. I can't remember the website to check out the drugs. Safebaby or something like that? I am sure one of you will know.

Your baby's about 15.7 inches long now, and she weighs almost 3 pounds (like a head of cabbage). A pint and a half of amniotic fluid surrounds her, but that volume will decrease as she gets bigger and takes up more room in your uterus. Her eyesight continues to develop, though it's not very keen; even after she's born, she'll keep her eyes closed for a good part of the day. When she does open them, she'll respond to changes in light but will have 20/400 vision — which means she can only make out objects a few inches from her face. (Normal adult vision is 20/20.)

Our Niece Julia, and our Nephew Gabriel
Gabriel showing off his new haircut to Aunt Tiffany

Diapers, diapers, and more diapers. 2,747 to be exact. We had a diaper raffle at the shower. what a help these will be.

Not a flattering picture, but a glimpse at my days.

The kitties must be on bedrest too.

Getting bigger

I find it hard to go a day without going into the boys room and just day dreaming

Bumbos and Rockstars!

Carriers and slings, along with the boys coat rack Daddy put up

Big Thank Yous

My heart has been melting lately as I open packages full of such love, it has been like Christmas around our house. It started with the huge generous gift from Ryan, and then a sweet card from Erin, then of course the fantastic and generous gifts from our baby shower.

Then last week a beautiful package from The Hernandez Clan which brought me to tears. The Hernandez Clan are our friends IRL, but live miles and miles away. I have to say the most touching part is the book they bought for the boys which had little messages written inside from Drea to Mommy & Daddy, and then a separate message to Noah & Aaden.

Then a surprise gift from Polly who purchased the boys this sweet little Baby Einstein toy off our registry at BRU. So very thoughtful and touching! Polly holds a very special place in my heart. Without her I would probably still be doing $900 clomid IUIs.

Huge thank yous, but not just for the gifts. Thank you for your friendships and for being a part of my life. I know I have said it numerous times, but I mean it. Without FF and numerous blog girls I don't know where I would be. Before finding girls in the same situation I felt depressed, ashamed, and alone.

Each of you bloggers and buddy group members have been a part of our journey and without you I wouldn't be here. Seriously I wouldn't! Without Polly telling us about Stanford and without generous FF members donating meds to our cycles we would not be here blessed with twin little boys. Whom might I mention should be here within the next six weeks or so. Can you believe it? I cannot believe how far we have come. Thank you all so very much.

On another note I want to address an email I received this week. It was from a reader who happened upon my blog (she was not a blogger). She said that once she found my blog she went back to entry #1 and sat and read from start to finish. This is not the first email I have received of that kind. Lately I have received quite a few emails like that. She went on to tell me how much hope I gave her and thanked me for sharing our journey. It is emails like that, that make it all worth it. My blogging has not only helped me, but it is helping others. I will take being criticized and judged any day as long as it means I am being me and sharing my journey, and it is benefiting others.

Gotta Love it!

I came across this on another blog. I don't normally post stuff like this, but ya gotta love it! How fun and memorable.

29 Weeks

Big babies!!!!! We had an appointment with the Peri yesterday. Noah (Baby A) is now head down, which if he stays that way "might" give us the option of a vaginal delivery. Aaden is not head down, but I guess Baby B can be turned or will drop once Baby A is out. Noah weighs 2 lbs. 15 oz. and Aaden is 3 lbs. 1 oz. A is measuring one day ahead and B is measuring 5 days ahead.

The cervix was still stable, closed, and the same length as last time. No more cervical length checks because at this time the cervix should begin to shorten. I go back to the Peri in four weeks for a growth scan.

Baby’s energy is surging, thanks to the formation of white fat deposits beneath the skin. (Have those kicks and jabs to the ribs tipped you off yet?) Baby is also settling into sleep and waking cycles, though -- as you’ve also probably noticed -- they don’t necessarily coincide with your own. Also this month, all five senses are finally functional, and the brain and nervous system are going through major developments. http://www.thebump.com/

Your baby now weighs about 2 1/2 pounds (like a butternut squash) and is a tad over 15 inches long from head to heel. His muscles and lungs are continuing to mature, and his head is growing bigger to make room for his developing brain. To meet his increasing nutritional demands, you'll need plenty of protein, vitamins C, folic acid, and iron. And because his bones are soaking up lots of calcium, be sure to drink your milk (or find another good source of calcium, such as cheese, yogurt, or enriched orange juice). This trimester, about 250 milligrams of calcium are deposited in your baby's hardening skeleton each day. http://www.babycenter.com/

The Baby Shower and the Boy's Room

The Boy's Room last week

Drinking beer from a baby bottle

Noah & Aaden's Great Grammy made them blankies

And hats!

My wonderful Susie, the hostess

The triplets. It is VERY rare that you get all three in a picture.

My wonderful Heather and her little Juliana

Sarah, Jen, Me, & Hannah

Sarah and I. Sarah has been my friend since elementary school and was my Maid of Honor in our wedding

Noah & Aaden's future friends and their Mommies.

Burp cloths made by Noah & Aaden's Grammy

The after party at our house

The Grandma's

My other little cowboy

As Promised

Errrghhhh... I can't sleep! It is getting that point where you start to get angry because you want to sleep so bad, but you just can't. Five hours ago I was exhausted and couldn't wait to hit the hay. The shower was great, I won't post details or pics because I really do have to figure out how to get some sleep. So, I will post my speech as promised. I must admit I am slightly embarrassed and regret doing it because I cried like a baby. It was ever worse than I ever imagined. Oh well, what's done is done. If I hadn't done it I would have regretted it, so I guess I am glad that I did. Night night... or is it good morning?

******

I know giving a speech at a baby shower isn't the norm, but then our journey to get here hasn't been the norm. I want to thank each and every one of you for coming today. You have all been by our side through our long journey and having you here today to celebrate means the world to us.

Big thank you's to our friends and family who have stopped by to keep me company, bring food, and run errands for us. Also to my Mom, Wayne and my Grammy who have stepped up to help out around our house, and cook meals, we couldn't have done this without you guys.

Thank you to my office for always being so flexible with my doctors appointments over the years and for dealing with my early leave.

A huge gigantic thank you to Susie for this beautiful shower and the countless hours she has spent comforting me and helping me through difficult times, not to mention rocking the house cleaning and meals.

Most importantly thank you to my husband for stepping up around the house, and always supporting me and keeping me motivated to move forward.

Almost five years ago I married the love of my life and never would I have imagined that our road to become parents would have been like this, but this journey has made us stronger. To quote lyrics from my favorite Rascal Flatts song. "I wouldn't change a thing, I'd walk right back through the rain, back to every broken heart on the day that it was breaking, I'd re-live all the years, and be thankful for the tears, I've cried with every stumble step, that brought me HERE."

Here we are finally to the place we have only dreamed of, and we have been doubly blessed.
Now we are embarking on our next chapter which we hope will brings tears of joy and challenge instead of heartache. Gabe thank you for being my rock, I look forward to sharing the joy of raising our boys, learning, laughing, and enjoying what we have worked so hard for. I know you will be a wonderful Daddy to Noah & Aaden. I love you!

2 More Days

Setting: Last night laying in bed

Gabe: Guess what's in two days?

Me: OUR baby shower *grin grin*

Gabe: No, 28 weeks 4 days *smile smile*

What a goof! Now just one more day. You may think I am odd, but I have prepared a speech to read at the shower. I guess it is weird, but oh well. I will share with y'all after the shower. It is already all typed up. Now lets just see if I can get through it without crying too hard. Only one person has read it and that would be Drea. I cannot ever read it to myself without crying. Can a speech be typed and passed instead of read out loud? :-)

Me Mom?

I have been caught stunned lately. Many of my comments have been calling me Mom/Mama/Mommy.... hummmm. Are they really referring to me? Am I really a Mom? Up until now I have only been a "real" Mommy to creatures with fur. How did the one thing I wanted so badly finally happen?

At what point am I considered a Mom? The day I got pregnant? The day the boys reached viability? Maybe not until they are born? How does one determine when this magic name comes into play?

I got a very sweet call from my Dad last night. One of those calls that just sort of makes you want to burst out into tears. He said that he was having dinner and "we" crossed his mind. The FOUR of us crossed his mind and he had to call and tell us how proud and happy he was. You could hear it in his voice, he is just bursting with pride. And no he wasn't just proud because of the boys or because of how far we have come to have the boys, but more just for who Gabe and I are and what we have achieved in life. It was very sweet and made me feel accomplished, although my biggest accomplishment yesterday was creating an ipod playlist for the baby shower. I may not be gifted with a talent that I can share with the world, or have some fancy high paying job, but we are good hard working people. Infertility brought us over $30,000 in debt. My Dad paid off $1,500 of that before IVF #3, and at this point we only left with four more monthly payments. I began working at the age of 15, started taking college courses at night after school at 16, moved out at 19, and owned a home at 22. For things like this, our marriage, and the boys my Dad is proud.

Laptop fixed... it was just the charger! My friends are back.

I posted on FF yesterday in the October board, which I haven't done in awhile. It was amazing to see how many of them had been following me via blog. Which leads me to wonder how many people are actually reading? Who is just lurking? I am really curious. Come out come out where ever you are and drop me a comment.

I better get moving and get in the shower. I have an OB appointment and I must admit that I am nervous. I am afraid that these contractions I have been having are changing my cervix. I am so afraid they will admit me to the hospital today. Please please say a little prayer. I really don't want to be admitted yet and I would really like to make it to my baby shower this Saturday.

*UPDATE* All is well!!!! Cervix is actually measuring a 1.4, so still stable and VERY closed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Baby shower here we come!!!!!! This OB was GREAT! Very thorough and took the time to answer questions and go over my chart. I passed my glucose test with flying colors and DO NOT have gestational diabetes. Thyroid levels are good and I guess my blood count is fantastic for carrying twins. How about that? I am now measuring 36 weeks pregnant and have gained 23 pounds (GULP). How in the world did that happen? This bedrest really makes the weight come on. The boys looked good and now we are about 98% sure we are going c-section. Both boys are still in the same positions and it is unlikely they will change positions now, not much room to move around. Oh and thank you all for commenting, I love to see who is lurking around.

28 WEEKS!!!!!!!!!

28 WEEKS!!!!!!!!!28 WEEKS!!!!!!!!!28 WEEKS!!!!!!!!!28 WEEKS!!!!!!!!!28 WEEKS!!!!!!!!!28 WEEKS!!!!!!!!!28 WEEKS!!!!!!!!!28 WEEKS!!!!!!!!!28 WEEKS!!!!!!!!!28 WEEKS!!!!!!!!!28 WEEKS!!!!!!!!!28 WEEKS!!!!!!!!!

Big sighs are being heard around our house. I awoke to Gabe wishing the boys a happy 28 weeks. Of course we don't want the boys to come now, but I am relieved to know they will be just down the street and will have an excellent chance at survival. We have been longing for this day and I am very thankful it is here.

News... Phoenix ripped apart the diaper cake that Ryan sent us. If anyone would like a dog or two please email me. They are driving me crazy, probably because this is a VERY stressful week. Trying to prepare for houseguests and get our house, the guest room (which is in the process of being turned into a playroom), and the boys room in some what of an order is not easy. All I can do is bark orders and I hate it. My poor Mom, not so much Gabe. He has been gone the last two nights, but tonight and tomorrow will be a biggie for him. Poor guy!

My laptop isn't working! So I have lost two of my very close friends... the internet and the Sims 3. I feel as if I am going through withdrawals. It won't charge. I ordered another charger hoping that is all it is, so we will cross our fingers. For now I am on the desktop, but that is VERY limited because I have to sit up on a chair to use it.

In baby boy news they are ACTIVE! Can't go long now without a kick. This weekend was incredible, the boys were playing a soccer game (although Gabe was hoping it was baseball) and everyone got a chance to feel. It was so fun to be able to share those normal pregnancy things with everyone. Aaden is kick kick kicking away as I type, I should video this, my stomach is going crazy those are some hard kicks.

By this week, your baby weighs two and a quarter pounds (like a Chinese cabbage) and measures 14.8 inches from the top of her head to her heels. She can blink her eyes, which now sport lashes. With her eyesight developing, she may be able to see the light that filters in through your womb. She's also developing billions of neurons in her brain and adding more body fat in preparation for life in the outside world.

*** come on seriously? What is up with my Mac? Are you seeing what I am seeing? It is splitting words on different lines. Oh my! Sorry!!! AND THIS FONT!!!! Come on! Happy 28 weeks.... it is going to be one of those days huh?

*** My Mom is letting me borrow her laptop, I think I got it fixed. Gessshh, what was up with that?

A Gift

A gift, a gift, a gift!  A fantastic gift!  A generous gift!  An over the top gift!

I met Ryan via a message board and I just love her, I love all the girls from that group they each hold a special place in my heart.    

Back when we found out that Addyson was really Aaden I mailed Ryan all the little girl things we had accumulated for her Evie.  Today a super fantastic gift arrived from Ryan, Stewart, & Evie.  Ryan you truly out did yourself!  I am in awe of everything and cannot thank you enough.  

Special gifts for me and the boys, so exciting.  The robe in gorgeous and will go straight into my hospital bag.  So excited to have Dr. Brown bottles and we LOVE the truck PJs.  We love EVERYTHING!  Thank you thank you thank you!!!!

Gabe must be getting into the blog because he took a picture of my treasures from the ice cream man and said to "put it on the blog."  I lay in my bed and scream "ice cream man" whenever he comes by.  Most times no one is home and sometimes who ever is here ignores me, but this time Gabe high tailed it to the door and scored me these sweet treats.  Regretfully most have been consumed already.

Just 5 More Days

Just five more days until we reach 28 weeks. Yes, I know 28 weeks doesn't put us out of the woods, but at 28 weeks we can stay in town and have our boys at the hospital which Gabe and I were born. Most importantly if we need to leave the boys in the hospital they will only be 1.45 miles away (yes I mapquested it.) Come on beautiful baby boys, we can do this!

We put aluminum foil in the cribs! Supposedly it will keep the cats out. So far so good. We thought about buying crib tents, but they are $80 a pop x2. For now we hope the foil does the trick. Of course we will take it out once the boys come. I guess the cats will try to get in two of three times and don't like the sound and feel of the foil and will remember and should steer clear.
Our Ozzy cat is outside most days, but when he does come in he is dirty and ready to curl up for a long cat nap somewhere cozy. He made his dirtiness apparent all over the crib bedding. Now it is all washed up and WILL remain kitty cat free. Obey your Mama kitty cats!

5 days until 28 weeks, 8 days until Noah & Aaden's baby shower!

27 Weeks and An Update

This week, your baby weighs almost 2 pounds (like a head of cauliflower) and is about 14 1/2 inches long with her legs extended. She's sleeping and waking at regular intervals, opening and closing her eyes, and perhaps even sucking her fingers. With more brain tissue developing, your baby's brain is very active now. While her lungs are still immature, they would be capable of functioning — with a lot of medical help — if she were to be born now. Chalk up any tiny rhythmic movements you may be feeling to a case of baby hiccups, which may be common from now on. Each episode usually lasts only a few moments, and they don't bother her, so just relax and enjoy the tickle. http://www.babycenter.com/

Our periontologist appointment went well, I really love that doctor. We were in and out and she was again VERY pleased with how far we have come. My cervix is most definitely closed and I am measuring around a 1.3, so a little shorter, but still good. She will only be measuring the length of my cervix once more. At that point in pregnancy the length is no longer as important, but instead we will begin checking for dilation. If dilation is found it would then be hospital bedrest for me. She says the cerclage is doing its job and she couldn't ask for much more. She okayed me to go to my baby shower (as long as I was laying or sitting most of the time) and she thought the Drive-In movies was a great idea as long as I was lounging in the car or my chair. Noah and Aaden were posing well for pictures and we got great profile shots of each.

My husband surprised me with the Sims 3 using some bartending money he had been saving. Ahhhhhh so sweet and such a great waste of my time. I better get my playing time in because once these boys come, the game will be long gone. You should see what level I am on in Farm Town via Fac.ebook. Yes, you can tell I have way to much time on my hands.

Last Peri cervix measurement July 21st, along with a growth scan. One more week until our BIG GOAL!

Mute Monday

An Apology

I want to apologize for jumping the gun the other day after a comment. I was caught off guard and forced into thinking about my reality, and really nothing negative was said in the comment. I guess not thinking about the NICU or going into labor was my way of guarding myself, and having it brought full front to my attention I reacted negatively.

I plan to take a break from blogging for awhile, but WILL check in with details of appointments. "Thinking" about going private and only allowing fellow bloggers, but we will see. If not, going forward things may be a little different . This honestly has NOTHING to do with any comments left on my blog by bloggers (I swear), just feeling that maybe I put my thoughts out there too much. I would rather be guarded and walk on eggshells than be judged and criticized for the things I write.

Thinking and loving ALL my boys today and feeling so very blessed for how far we have come. As always thank you blogger girls for your love and support. Words cannot express how much you girls mean to me, you have always been by my side through every up and down.

26 Weeks, an Update, and Some Show and Tell

Today marks 26 weeks and I go back to the quote from my husband "babies born at 26 weeks have a 95% chance of survival." (Not sure where he found the statistic, but I choose to use it as hope for this week.)

I had an OB appointment and it was HORRIBLE. Not that the outcome was necessarily horrible, but the experience was awful. I waited OVER an hour and a half to see my OB and then once I did he was a grouch, I am sorry, but sitting in the waiting room for an hour and then a hard chair for 30 minutes is NOT bedrest. I had a few questions I wanted to ask and I was afraid to ask them. He was so grouchy he wasn't even going to look at the boys, just my cervix. My cervix has remained stable for yet another week. We discovered that the OB was measuring differently then the Peri. With his measurement I was again at a 2.3, but then he measured how he thinks the Peri is measuring at it was still a 1.5. Stability for 3 weeks is good in my opinion, now just give me stability for 7 - 10 more please.

My belly is measuring 33 weeks, I thought it would be measuring farther along because I feel huge. Our beautiful boys were doing well after I pushed to take a little look at them. Then the OB chose to bring some doom and gloom and told me that he has confidence that I would make it past 28 weeks, but doesn't feel I will make it much further than 32 weeks. Wow, I knew it was reality, but to have him say that to me was hard... not to mention he was NOT comforting, because again he was a GROUCH. My appt. next time is with a different OB in the office as per my request.

I am trying to prepare myself for the reality of the NICU, I know that I will probably not be coming home with my boys, and I know that my boys are going to have a long bumpy road ahead of them. I have joined a FF message board of NICU moms and they are a wealth of knowledge. All we can do is hope for one day at a time and pray for the health of our boys. Lets prove this OB wrong and make it to 36 weeks!

But Dad, Mommy lays here all day long, why can't we?

Auntie Heather to the rescue!

They are five piece preemie outfits, on the back side is a cute blue sleeper.
Grammy (my Mom) to the rescue!
Yes, these are preemie outfits. No hats, but we discovered that the hats from above could be flipped inside out and the blue matches. LOVE IT!

New blankies from Grammy

Oopppsss some how these got flipped and I don't have the energy to go fix them.

Sorry again. You can guess who bought these. DADDY!

For our little cowboys

Daddy picked these up too, he like things with monkeys on them.

The boys closet, told ya we got a lot of hand me downs

Hats

Bibs

Socks, I know nuts huh? How on earth could they possibly wear this many socks?

Shoes

Onesies

0-3 & 3-6 clothes for the dresser which my Dad bought today

6-9 month clothes to pack away. Huge thanks to my Mom for organizing all of this.

9 months + clothes to pack away.

Yes, it was a little sad to not be able to do all this myself, but I am so thankful to my Mom for doing it for me. I wouldn't feel comfortable bossing anyone else around like that. We are set on the clothes, now all we need is "stuff!"