Necklace and a Change

Mondays are my LOOOOONNNNGGGG days. I have come to despise Mondays even more than ever now. Most Mondays I have no human contact for at least 16 hours. Well, today is most likely my last long, no human contact Monday EVER! Seems so WEIRD! See next Monday is a holiday so Gabe will be home and hopefully the following Monday I will be a MOM!!!
Today on my last long Monday a package arrived, which brought a smile to my face, I knew right away what it was. I have been waiting for it...

So, we have a slight change in delivery plans. The Peri disagreed with the OB and put a halt on the scheduled c-section. She wants me to hold on as long as possible and go into labor on my own. I will know more details on Thursday, but for now I will have the cerclage removed the morning of the 9th at L&D here in town and then walk around for two hours. If in those two hours I have dilated we will go ahead with the c-section. If not, I will go home and wait to go into labor or wait for September 23rd (38 weeks) to be induced. Of course I was a little bummed because I am such a planner, but my OB seems to think it will still probably happen around the 9th or sooner, so we will see. I want whatever is best for the boys, but am really getting anxious to meet them and well... ummmm... just a little uncomfortable. Okay, who am I kidding? A lot uncomfortable!


Five Years

What a long and winding road it has been. Five years ago today I married the love of my life and we embarked on a new chapter. I love you Gabe, thank you for making all my dreams come true and being my rock. Wow, I can't believe it has been five whole years!

Our day was not everything I had always dreamt of when I was a little girl, money was tight (we had just bought our first house), but we managed to have a beautiful wedding for around $4,000, and most importantly we had a good time and didn't go into debt doing it. The wedding included 120 guests and a fantastic dinner. It was a day I will never forget. Looking back I wouldn't have it any other way, I am so glad we didn't go crazy over board, because we have great memories and great pictures. Pictures, memories, and love are what last a lifetime, however I really wish we would have splurged for a honeymoon. Since we didn't take a honeymoon, each anniversary we have gone on weekend getaways. Those weekend getaways where it was just the two of us have been some of my favorite memories. We won't be doing a weekend getaway this year, but I will say it is still a VERY memorable anniversary.


34 Weeks and an Appointment

34 weeks! 34 weeks! 34 weeks!

The boys look great! My cervix is completely thinned out and the only thing holding it closed is the stitches. We had planned to have the cerclage removed at the Peri's office on September 9th, but plans have changed. My OB believes that once it is removed I will go into labor, so he wants to remove it and feels it best to just remove it during a planned c-section on September 9th, instead of driving an hour and half away and going into labor on the drive home.

So, the plan is to go back again next week. If I am not dilated then we are still set for September 9th, if I am then maybe we do it sooner, but for now it is holding well and probably the only thing stopping me from dilating. He instructed me to go to L&D at the first sign of bleeding or if I have at least 6 contractions in an hour.

So why a c-section? In his opinion it is safest with twins, a lot can go wrong and he prefers it this way. He also prefers planned vs. emergency c-section with babies in distress. I am totally fine with that... I think. I guess this is what I wanted, I just wanted someone else to make the choice for me. So there... it is done! 09-09-09 unless Noah and Aaden say otherwise!

Your baby now weighs about 4 3/4 pounds (not ours, they are more like 5 1/2) and is almost 18 inches long. Her fat layers — which will help regulate her body temperature once she's born — are filling her out, making her rounder. Her skin is also smoother than ever. Her central nervous system is maturing and her lungs are continuing to mature as well. If you've been nervous about preterm labor, you'll be happy to know that babies born between 34 and 37 weeks who have no other health problems generally do fine. They may need a short stay in the neonatal nursery and may have a few short-term health issues, but in the long run, they usually do as well as full-term babies. http://www.babycenter.com/

Our babies will be here in less than 14 days!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


For Real?

This is a true story... seriously it is!

Setting: In bed 12:35 a.m. Gabe is asleep, I am tossing and turning and still have yet to fall asleep and have been up every hour on the hour to pee.

Gabe: (Awakes suddenly from sleep) Ahhhh.. I am uncomfortable!
Me: What? (I heard what he said, but I guess I just wanted to hear it again)
Gabe: I am uncomfortable!
Me: Are you freakin' kidding me?
Gabe: What?
Me: (struggling to get out of bed to use the bathroom yet again) JOIN THE CLUB!

I return back to bed a minute later, he is already sound asleep AGAIN. If only my only struggle to falling asleep and uncomfortableness was the fact that Phoenix was laying at my feet. Tonight I will pump him full of salt until his feet and hands swell like sausages, then I will make him swallow a whole watermelon, feed him peppers to inflict heartburn, and have him run until his whole body aches. Maybe then he will know what uncomfortable is. Just kidding, really I am, and I probably shouldn't have said that out loud, but ehhh well... I did! And I am not complaining about my uncomfortableness, because it means our boys are big and healthy. I am sure he was "uncomfortable," but ummm... just think about who you are saying it to before you complain. Love you honey! Thanks for the laugh!!!

Happy Birthday to my dear sweet Elianna! Today she is 12 years old.

I have my 34 week appointment tomorrow. I will post an update when I get home... if I come home. I have a feeling we might be making some progress. I am feeling a lot of pressure and I think Noah has dropped even lower. So, we will see. Still hoping for another week or two, but SO thankful for how far we have come.

Thursday I will venture out across town for an hour to a "Mommy lunch." I can't believe it, I was invited to a real Mommy lunch. My friend Katie asked me out to bagels for Mommy talk. Along with Katie comes her little Hayden, another Mom and her son, and Katie's SIL, Jen whom has four week old twin boys! I cannot wait to go to my first Mommy lunch and to meet Jen and pick her brain.


Show and Tell Oldies, but Goodies

My 16th Birthday

Easter 1998, Angel Island

May 1999


Yosemite, 1998

Disneyland 2001

The day I got my drivers license


Winter dance, 2000
First dance together February 1998
Senior Prom 2000
1997Baby Gabe
Junior Prom 1999


33 Weeks and Big Babies

Sorry, I am a day late on this post. Yesterday was 33 weeks, I am still shocked that we have made it this far. We had a growth scan yesterday at the Peri's office and we have a couple of big babies. Baby A (Noah) is 4 lbs. 13 oz. and Baby B (Aaden) is 5 lbs. 3 oz. I was extremely delighted to hear these weights. These are fantastic weights for twins, after hearing this I felt like this huge fear just floated away and I was all smiles. It was the first time in a long time that I truly believed things might just be okay.

Both babies are measuring ahead and were "breathing." The tech was so excited to see them "breathing" I still don't fully get it, but I guess it is a great thing, which shows that they are using their lungs. My cervix was still closed and my placenta was "mature", which is a sign that the end is near. Fluid levels on the babies are still great and my contractions and swelling have subsided a bit.

We were able to see Aaden's hair, and he has lots of it... it had to be almost as cute as the shot we have with the little feet. I was told to stop progesterone next week and to also discuss stopping the blood pressure medicine with my OB as well. Holy moly... stopping meds, this is the real deal. It seems most twins come around 35 weeks and the Peri seems to think we are "ready if it happens." I of course would like at least two more weeks. I was told that after 34 weeks many times the hospital will not try to postpone labor for twins, so it could be any day now.

I keep laughing about the Preemie clothes we have, which I was so worried about getting. Now it seems they have already grown out of a couple of them and wouldn't ya know it my scared butt just recently washed them and took the tags off. I also just stocked up on three packs of preemie diapers. Oh well, I am sure the preemie stuff will still fit for a week or so, even if some of them do say they are for up to 5 pounds.

I am still in shock at the news and both Gabe and I felt this big sense of relief, so much that we actually put stuff together. We put together the pack n' play with bassinets (that was a chore) and we put together one Boppy bouncy seat, couldn't go all crazy with two, but we did do one.

Next week will be the delivery discussion and a huge part of me is leaning towards the c-section route, but ultimately it is up to my OB. In the beginning he thought going straight to a c-section with twins was best, but then when Noah went head down, I was leaning towards a vaginal delivery. My fear is laboring for hours and hours and then going to a c-section or having Noah vaginally and having to do a c-section with Aaden. I would rather go straight to it if that is the case, but of course we don't know what will happen. The other reason I am leaning towards c-section is because I didn't get to take any of the labor, pain management, or breathing classes, so Ms. Prepared feels unprepared, but I am sure I could handle it.

Twin Mama's what are your thoughts? I know more than 50% of twins go c-section, and I know having it planned rather than an emergency is much safer. I am aware that the recovery is worse, but we will have help. My other thought is that my cerclage is set to come out at 36 weeks, and I was told this will be some what painful. Couldn't they just give me the spinal and remove the cerclage the same time as the c-section? Would they do a planned c-section at 36 weeks with babies measuring ahead?

This week your baby weighs a little over 4 pounds (heft a pineapple) and has passed the 17-inch mark. He's rapidly losing that wrinkled, alien look and his skeleton is hardening. The bones in his skull aren't fused together, which allows them to move and slightly overlap, thus making it easier for him to fit through the birth canal. (The pressure on the head during birth is so intense that many babies are born with a conehead-like appearance.) These bones don't entirely fuse until early adulthood, so they can grow as his brain and other tissue expands during infancy and childhood. http://www.babycenter.com/

Dear Noah & Aaden,

First off I want to thank you for cooperating through all of this. Thank you for holding strong, gaining weight, and tickling your Mommy. Thank you for the wonderful rib and bladder kicks, and thank you for making my dreams come true. I know I have been sad lately, but I really think it is because I love you so very much and I can't stand the thought that something may not turn out just right. You boys have brought a new sunshine to my life and I cannot wait to start our lives together. I cannot wait for You, Me, and Daddy to share new adventures and watch our world explode with love. I cannot believe that soon I will be holding and loving on you both. I cannot believe that soon my nights will be spent rocking and caring for the two most precious gifts ever. Please know that you are my miracles, you are everything we have ever wanted. We all can't wait to meet you. Keep holding strong for at least another couple weeks! Oh and if you could... please go easy on me. Lets get these feedings down pat, work on a nice matching schedule, and if you could sleep through the night soon that would be great too. I love you boys and your Daddy more than words could ever express.



Diaper Bags

I have been a pretty good researcher, I knew I wanted a Skip Hop diaper bag and the messenger bag seemed like a good choice because it was larger than most Skip Hop bags. I wanted lots of pockets and I wanted it to be gender neutral so Gabe would be fine carrying it too. I am not fond of diaper bags with characters or foofoo baby things on it. The babies aren't carrying them, the parents are. We registered for the bag, but didn't get it at the shower, but we did get lots of Target gift cards. So I ordered the messenger in Red and was so excited to get it, but when i got it, I was far from excited. It was NOT the bag for us! The storage space was ridiculous. At first I thought I would just deal with it and carry two bags if need be, but after holding it and putting things in it I realized that it really was not worth the $79 we paid at Target. I ordered it online and figured returning it would be horrible. NOT the case! I was able to go online and print an invoice and am now able to take it back to the local Target store. How about that?

So I put on my research cap again and this time I used Mr. Google and threw in the word spacious and twin diaper bag. Low and behold a Skip Hop appeared. A Skip Hop I hadn't seen before. A Skip Hop with far more space for both our little buggers things. The Skip Hop Duo Deluxe. I read all the reviews and they were great many mentioning twins and stroller clips. I was sold. the better news was that it is was only $80 on Amazon.com. So I got the bigger bag for the same price and this time, no tax! Hahaha!!! It should be here next week, lets just hope I love it as much as I think I will.
Our Pack n' Play arrived. The Pack n' Play which will be the boys sleeping place for the first few months. I can't wait to get it put together and put it in our room. Even more than that I can't wait to see both our healthy babies sleeping in it.
Things are starting to feel so real. It is hard to imagine two little creatures will be in this house soon. All reservations aside, I truly am so excited and blessed, but it is hard for me to fully show it because I am scared. There you have it... My name is Tiffany and I am scared to be a Mother of twins. I have been a downer lately and am trying like hell to pick myself up and convince myself that I can do this and that it is going to be amazing and THEY ARE BOTH GOING TO BE HEALTHY. I cannot wait to hold them and see who they look like, I can't wait to comfort them and protect them, so what am I so afraid of?

Financially I am terrified, I wonder if I will even have a job to go back to, and I wonder how we will deal with this new cut that Gabe just got at work. I wonder how we will pay for health insurance for the boys, and how we will come up with the $1,500 deductible when they are born. I wonder where in the world the money will come from to pay for daycare, or who will be watching the boys for that matter. I am a numbers and a planner girl, it is what I do for a living so this scares me. I try not to think about it and just take each day as it comes, but well.. that wouldn't be me if I didn't plan. It scares me to not have financial stability, it scares me that I can't predict our expenses or my income.

On another note, Gabe and I are both really tired of the "your life is over stories." We know our life isn't over, and it is pretty sad when no one has good stories to tell us. All they want to tell me about is how hard breastfeeding is, how I will get no sleep, poop stories, and how much the boys will cost us in diapers. Okay people we got that, now can you please tell us about your babies first smile and how it melted your heart, and tell us about how awesome it is to see the bond between your twins? The guys at work have been giving Gabe a pretty hard time, telling him he will never go golfing or sleep again. We know that isn't true, but we also know it isn't going to be easy on either of us. We know things are going to be rough, and we are up for the challenge. We were feeling better last night, because we realized that the bad days would pass, and the good days will out weigh the bad, and that no matter what we have each other and that our dreams are coming true.

No amount of crying or sleepless nights can over come the joy we will get when our boys reach for us to be held, the joy on Gabe's face when he first lays eyes on the boys, the tears of joy my Mom will cry when she holds her Grandson's, the day we bring two healthy babies home from the hospital and get to go on the web cam and show my Mother-in-law her twin Grandsons, and our Niece and Nephew their new cousins. The day they call us Mama and Dada, the day they smile, the day they laugh, holidays, I could go on and on and on... the point is that yea, I probably won't sleep much and I am sure I will break down in tears numerous times from being overwhelmed, but it is all so worth it. This bedrest is so worth it, the IVFs were so worth it. We are going to be parents! No one ever said being parents was easy, but they do say it is rewarding.


Show and Tell

Since I don't have many new pictures or exciting stories to share, I have decided to share our all time favorite vacation. Probably the only perk of infertility is the ability to vacation every year to some great places.

In May of 2007 we flew to Miami and took a cruise to Grand Cayman, Jamaica, and Cozumel. Gabe and I still both believe it was the best vacation ever, and it may remain that way for quite some time, probably until we can take our little boys to Hawaii or Mexico.

I am a big fan of cruises, I love laying by the pool and getting to dress up and eat great food every night. I also love to be able to go to three destinations.

The Miami Airport

My Step-Dad and I in front of Miami Ink in South Beach

Grand Cayman on our way to swim with the sting rays
Probably one of the funnest days EVER
My hot Mama swimming with the sting rays
Handsome Boys

The Mayan ruins in Cozumel
This was formal night, I think my honey ate five lobster tails that night