You may find it odd, but I find comfort in knowing that I am not alone in some of these apprehensions I am feeling towards the holidays. I want so bad to be excited, if not for myself, for my DH. Christmas is his favorite time of year, but yet Christmas for an infertile is a reminder of what is missing, what others have, and what could/should have been.
I hate feeling sorry for myself, I am trying so hard not to and to be happy for what we have. Yes, we have accomplished things this year, but the pain out weighs these accomplishments and memories. I am playing my hand... and this year the hand involves putting on the smiley face for the holidays and letting my DH enjoy them. I find comfort in the fact that we are moving forward and this year I am thankful for the technology we have that will bring me closer to being a Mother.
Below is a blog post from my friend Polly. Polly is a angel to us, Polly told us about the study at Stanford. Without Polly we would have never experienced IVF or Stanford yet. Without Polly we wouldn't have realized that Stanford was a preferred provider with my insurance and that even though infertility isn't covered on my insurance, the hospital is, and that makes IVF some what financially feasible for us. Polly's recent post about the Holiday's describes what us dealing with infertility and losses feel this time of year. She is a much better writter than me, so I thought that I would share.
5 days ago