The Cerclage

The cerclage has been placed and here I lay in a silent house in my bed. The surgery did NOT happen on Friday as planned. Friday morning we woke early drove to the city, My Mom, Gabe and I, we arrived around 10 a.m.. The surgery was set for noon time, we were warned that things were crazy and it might be more like 1 p.m. That was fine although I was hungry and thirsty. We tried to make the best of the shoebox room which had two beds and one chair. We spent a lot of time playing games on our phones and reading magazines, many of which were food magazines, which did NOT help my hunger situation. Surgery was then pushed to 2 p.m. because of a c-section. By 3 I was starting to get really irritated and wanted some answers, by this time I had an IV in, but no fluid. We heard talk of trying to get me in before 4 p.m. because the anestesiologist leaves around that time. 4 p.m. came and went and I wasn't even prepped for surgery. At this point I was ANGRY, I understood that emergency surgerys came up, but in a hospital of this size I couldn't imagine they didn't have two operating rooms and teams. Turns out they normally do, but on this day they didn't. Shortly after 4 the Doc came in and explained the situation and asked us to come back next week. I broke into tears and questionned this surgery being the right move, maybe this meant it wasn't meant to be. It was at this point the doctor then assured me that this WAS best for the baby, this this WAS the right move. I liked hearing that, I liked knowing that he thought this was best because previously he had sort of left it up to me. He went on to tell me that if I didn't do this that I would be closely monitored and even still we could miss our opportunity to save the baby. He then mentioned he could get me in the following day (Saturday) since the following week would make it hard because of the two weeks of work and bedrest I had commited to. So my Mom agreed to watch the boys Saturday although deep down she REALLY wanted to be at the hospital with me.

I awoke at 4 a.m. Saturday and we made our way to the city again. We got right in and the prep began right away, a couple small delays, but nothing too bad. Gabe and I said our goodbyes, he went to have breakfast while I went to the OR. The spinal made me VERY nauseous and dizzy for a few minutes, but after some meds that went away and we were on our way. The doc was great, you could tell he was far more experienced than my last. He was even able to get the stitches up even higher than the last. He said that I was built with a high, short cervix. That much of this problem was my anatomy, but felt confident in this procedure and thought I would be just fine. He stressed the bedrest and even gave me a timeline of what I can be doing and when. It seems that I should be taking it as easy as I can for two weeks. Strict bedrest of course for 4 -5 days. The recovery was a little worse than I remember, last time I was injected with pain meds and a spinal, this time I was fully awake no pain meds, only the spinal. As the spinal started to wear off I was fully aware of the pain. They gave me some vicodin, which didn't cut it. Then finally one injection in the IV which took the edge off. It took awhile for the spinal to wear completely off, but once it did we were free to go and the pain was much less by then. I came home kissed my babies and got comfy in my old friend the anti-gravity chair. Aaden had a bond with it, it must be all the time he spent in my belly in it.

Sunday and Monday were pretty much torture. The boys kept grabbing for me and calling for me or trying to climb on me. It is HORRIBLE to not be able to care for them. I found that hiding out in my bedroom was safest, as on the sofa they try to climb all over me and I end up doing more than I should. But while in my room I can hear them upset, or laughing and playing and it just kills me that I am not a part of it. Gabe is doing great, cooking us all meals and trying to keep up on the kitchen clean up. Not being able to put the boys in their cribs to bed has been the hardest, that and ignoring their reaches for me. I cannot wait to care for my boys again, all three of them.

Today is my first day alone, the boys got a ride from my cousin to the sitter (which to add stress is their last day there, as the sitter has taken a full time job.) Tomorrow I think they will be going to their old sitter, and then Thursday I might go back to work, although the Doc wanted me out of work a full week, but work is pretty low key. He only feared for how long I would be sitting up, so maybe a half day. I don't know I am sort of playing this all by ear, even the loss of the sitter. Somehow it all just works out. Thursday my Grandma will be here with them, but Friday it is all me. I am feeling 99% now and the pain is pretty much gone and only on ocassion will I ache. Today I plan to alternate from sofa to bed, watch some TV and do some online scrapbooking. Today isn't bad it's sort of like a vacation. This is my first alone day since the boys have been born, these have been the only days I have laid in bed since the boys have been born, this feels so odd.

Thank you all for your thoughts, prayers, concern, and emails. Baby #3 and I are doing great. Oh and on a side note at the NT I was getting boy vibes, but on Saturday we got to check in on baby twice and this time she looked like a girl. Hehehe, ha who knows, but something said Girl on Saturday, although something else said Boy on Wednesday so oh well.


J said...

Thinking of you and praying too. You are the mother I wish my niece had, she would still be here today. Her mom refused the cerclage because bed rest was too much of an convenience.

I am hoping for a princess. :)

J said...


Brenda said...

Glad you are doing well. Praying for continued recovery :)