The 13 Week Belly

The GIANT 13 week belly! At this rate I am afraid of how big this belly is going to get.

I am getting VERY anxious to find out the sex of this baby, I cannot wait to buy something for this little one. I did recently buy a case of diapers, but so far that is it. We are also having a lot of discussions about what happens after this little one comes regarding preventing another pregnancy. We both feel that three children is exactly what we want so we have been discussing possibly tying my tubes after the c-section. If not that, what else is slightly permanent and VERY reliable? Wow, I NEVER thought I would be thinking about birth control options.

13 Weeks

How far along? 13 weeks
Total weight gain/loss: +4 lbs
Maternity clothes? Yes
Sleep: Okay, but not liking the side sleeping
Best moment this week: Resting and scrapbooking, then finally being able to somewhat care for the boys
Movement: I want to say yes, but maybe it's too early, but I swear I have felt a couple things
Food cravings: Raisin bran and peanut butter frozen yogurt
Gender: Hoping for a princess
Labor Signs: No
Belly Button in or out? In
What I miss: Being able to clean my house and care for my boys
What I am looking forward to: Finding out the gender
Weekly Wisdom: Even though bedrest is hard as heck, it is best for the baby

No picture as of now, I have been in jammies most of the week, but tonight is DH's annual company dinner, so tonight I will become a human and hopefully be able to snap a pic of the belly.

This Is The Stuff, and NT Results

In the middle of my little mess, I forget how big I'm blessed! We are so very blessed.



NT results came back and using u/s, my age, and blood tests the odds of Baby 3 having down syndrome or trisomy 18 is 1 in 12,000, which is considered negative.

The Cerclage

The cerclage has been placed and here I lay in a silent house in my bed. The surgery did NOT happen on Friday as planned. Friday morning we woke early drove to the city, My Mom, Gabe and I, we arrived around 10 a.m.. The surgery was set for noon time, we were warned that things were crazy and it might be more like 1 p.m. That was fine although I was hungry and thirsty. We tried to make the best of the shoebox room which had two beds and one chair. We spent a lot of time playing games on our phones and reading magazines, many of which were food magazines, which did NOT help my hunger situation. Surgery was then pushed to 2 p.m. because of a c-section. By 3 I was starting to get really irritated and wanted some answers, by this time I had an IV in, but no fluid. We heard talk of trying to get me in before 4 p.m. because the anestesiologist leaves around that time. 4 p.m. came and went and I wasn't even prepped for surgery. At this point I was ANGRY, I understood that emergency surgerys came up, but in a hospital of this size I couldn't imagine they didn't have two operating rooms and teams. Turns out they normally do, but on this day they didn't. Shortly after 4 the Doc came in and explained the situation and asked us to come back next week. I broke into tears and questionned this surgery being the right move, maybe this meant it wasn't meant to be. It was at this point the doctor then assured me that this WAS best for the baby, this this WAS the right move. I liked hearing that, I liked knowing that he thought this was best because previously he had sort of left it up to me. He went on to tell me that if I didn't do this that I would be closely monitored and even still we could miss our opportunity to save the baby. He then mentioned he could get me in the following day (Saturday) since the following week would make it hard because of the two weeks of work and bedrest I had commited to. So my Mom agreed to watch the boys Saturday although deep down she REALLY wanted to be at the hospital with me.

I awoke at 4 a.m. Saturday and we made our way to the city again. We got right in and the prep began right away, a couple small delays, but nothing too bad. Gabe and I said our goodbyes, he went to have breakfast while I went to the OR. The spinal made me VERY nauseous and dizzy for a few minutes, but after some meds that went away and we were on our way. The doc was great, you could tell he was far more experienced than my last. He was even able to get the stitches up even higher than the last. He said that I was built with a high, short cervix. That much of this problem was my anatomy, but felt confident in this procedure and thought I would be just fine. He stressed the bedrest and even gave me a timeline of what I can be doing and when. It seems that I should be taking it as easy as I can for two weeks. Strict bedrest of course for 4 -5 days. The recovery was a little worse than I remember, last time I was injected with pain meds and a spinal, this time I was fully awake no pain meds, only the spinal. As the spinal started to wear off I was fully aware of the pain. They gave me some vicodin, which didn't cut it. Then finally one injection in the IV which took the edge off. It took awhile for the spinal to wear completely off, but once it did we were free to go and the pain was much less by then. I came home kissed my babies and got comfy in my old friend the anti-gravity chair. Aaden had a bond with it, it must be all the time he spent in my belly in it.

Sunday and Monday were pretty much torture. The boys kept grabbing for me and calling for me or trying to climb on me. It is HORRIBLE to not be able to care for them. I found that hiding out in my bedroom was safest, as on the sofa they try to climb all over me and I end up doing more than I should. But while in my room I can hear them upset, or laughing and playing and it just kills me that I am not a part of it. Gabe is doing great, cooking us all meals and trying to keep up on the kitchen clean up. Not being able to put the boys in their cribs to bed has been the hardest, that and ignoring their reaches for me. I cannot wait to care for my boys again, all three of them.

Today is my first day alone, the boys got a ride from my cousin to the sitter (which to add stress is their last day there, as the sitter has taken a full time job.) Tomorrow I think they will be going to their old sitter, and then Thursday I might go back to work, although the Doc wanted me out of work a full week, but work is pretty low key. He only feared for how long I would be sitting up, so maybe a half day. I don't know I am sort of playing this all by ear, even the loss of the sitter. Somehow it all just works out. Thursday my Grandma will be here with them, but Friday it is all me. I am feeling 99% now and the pain is pretty much gone and only on ocassion will I ache. Today I plan to alternate from sofa to bed, watch some TV and do some online scrapbooking. Today isn't bad it's sort of like a vacation. This is my first alone day since the boys have been born, these have been the only days I have laid in bed since the boys have been born, this feels so odd.

Thank you all for your thoughts, prayers, concern, and emails. Baby #3 and I are doing great. Oh and on a side note at the NT I was getting boy vibes, but on Saturday we got to check in on baby twice and this time she looked like a girl. Hehehe, ha who knows, but something said Girl on Saturday, although something else said Boy on Wednesday so oh well.

The Run Down

So yesterday was a big day. Our NT scan was not until 11:30 so DH and I were able to take our precious pair out to breakfast where we sat in a booth with boys in booster seats, one next to each of us while they munched on eggs, pancakes, bananas, and juice. We had a delicious breakfast then dropped the pair off at the sitter and made our way to the city. Parking was insane, which included one garage my Tahoe would not fit in ($22 parking BTW) and then another where the spots were so small I had to get out of the car before DH parked and also help him work his way into the spot. We arrived with 2 minutes to spare after a pretty long walk in some cold weather (well eh cold for us.)

The NT scan went great, little one was bouncing all over the place and cooperated right away, which was good because my bladder was full, but sad because the scan didn't last all too long. Babe was measuring exactly 12 weeks, which was two days ahead. Tech did lots of cervix measurements, which were all great. Tech caught the NT measurement right away which was a 1.3, which is GREAT! I guess based on my age and that measurement they are hugely sure things are fine with babe, but of course they have to take the blood work into account too. Here is a pic of babe, he/she gave WAY better profile shots, but the Tech wasn't there for a photo shoot like I was so I only got the shot he used to get the NT measurement.

After the NT scan and a meeting with a counselor to review the results and get a lab slip we were off down the street to the lab. By this time is was 12:15, we waited one hour to get my blood drawn, which took all of 90 seconds when I finally got in there. Then it was 1:15, we had planned to have a somewhat nice meal together, which turned into some carboard from the cafeteria in the hospital, wow I took for granted how good the food is at the cafeteria in our hospital, because this stuff was BAD. We scarfed down our food and made our way to L&D where I was to meet with the specialist because he was on call. We were placed in an actual L&D room, yes WEIRD. My appointment was at 2, the doctor finally made his way into the room at 2:30. The look on Gabe's face was priceless, his jaw just dropped. Lets just saw the doctor is clearly experienced as in maybe 50 years experienced. Yes.. okay I will just say it, he is VERY old. I mean VERY, my guess 80. Okay maybe not 80, but close. All in all he knows his stuff, we went over my WHOLE history he examined my cervix and then he asked me what I wanted before he told me what he thought. I told him I wanted the cerclage, that I feared something would happen at a point too late to place one and that we would have a pre-term baby or worse, I also told him I feared for weeks and weeks of bedrest like last time. He went on to tell me that I most likely DO in fact have an incompetent cervix, but also felt that I could possible be okay without the cerclage on a singelton pregnancy because a twin pregnancy is MUCH different, but the only way to know for sure is to TRY. He said he would give me an 80% chance of things being okay and delivering a healthy baby without the cerclage. All that being said he thought doing it made complete sense instead of taking the chance, and in essance pretty much left the decision up to me. He said we could watch closely and take action if needed or be pro-active and act now. My decison... PRO-ACTIVE. Surgery is set for tomorrow! I am not comfy with an 80% chance of a heatlthy baby, I know the cerclage worked for me last time and I have every reason to believe that it helped me bring Noah and Aaden to term as do I feel it should bring this baby to term as well.

So, tomorrow is a go we/I will go to the city in the A.M. I still am not 100% sure DH will be able to make it as he missed work all day yesterday. So I am still a bit foggy on all the details, but uh I will sort of need a ride home, so hoping it all works out as I am not sure who else would be able to come spend a day with me in the city. I was supposed to work tomorrow so childcare is in-line for the day, with my cousin picking the boys up at 5 in case we are not back in time.

Now onto the news I was not expecting... BEDREST. Yup and not just light activity, but FOUR DAYS OF STRICT NO SITTING NO NADA BEDREST. Thankfully Monday is a holiday so the DH will get to take on all my duties Friday - Monday. Tuesday I plan to some how get the boys to the sitter and I will have a full day in bed all alone. After that I am to remain on light activity for two weeks to let the cervix heal.

Why so fast on the surgery you ask? Main reason, for the safety of the baby, the earlier this is done the safer it is for the baby as it is smaller and less disturbed at this point. Another reason is that months ago I commited to working full time for two weeks while a co-worker is in Hawaii. So, this will allow me to rest up next week and then I will be able to still cover for her the first two weeks in March.

How do I feel about bedrest? NOT GOOD! Every once in awhile my bedrest days will pop in my head and I will think "ahhh how nice it would feel to spend a day on bedrest." Now that is is actually here... BOOOOO!!! I am stressing hardcore. I have today only to get stuff at work in order to miss a week, and I have today only to get stuff at home in order to be able to ignore my house and depend only on Gabe for five days. I am NOT one to rely on other people, I like things done my way and done right away, those around me know this all too well. My cousin teases me about this ALL the time. Yes, I am slightly over the top, with how things get done and where things go, but I have gotten better. So, letting it go especially things with the kids is HARD for me. I feel horrible for my poor husband as this weekend I am down for the count, the thought of what my house will look like by Tuesday already scares me. The thought of someone else packing diaper bags, cleaning up after the kids, getting the kids to bed with the correct diapers on, giving them a bath, and putting away my laundry... ugh! Okay, I am done. It will be fine, it will be totally fine. The boys will be fine, I will still be able to cuddle them while laying down and I will still be able to bark orders (again sorry Gabe!) I owe my husband BIG TIME after this as caring for those little guys and the house is no easy task.

Upside to bedrest is the new scrapbook program I started using. I went to a scrapbook night with some women and was introduced to a new program which is A-MAZING! It is called Heritage Makers, the Mom's meet once a month (sometimes more) and share snacks, projects, and get some kidless time to scrap. I have already done two pages and so far am thrilled with it, it is WAY more in depth then Scrapblog that I had been previously used. So I have December and January and a small amount of February that I will get to scrap this next week, wow had I only had this hobby while on bedrest last time I would have years done. For now I am proud to say that I have FULLY scraped September 2009 - November 2010. Loving online scrapbooking!

Please please please keep baby and I in your thoughts and prayers as yes this surgery is not without risk to us both, we were given a 95% chance things would be fine with baby and I, but still some prayers would be greatly welcomed oh and maybe a little prayer for the DH too, hehe. Saturday my cousin and her fam are coming over with dinner and Serena to help play with the boys and then maybe my Mom and Step-dad Sunday so he will have some help, but still I am sure he is not looking forward to this.

Scrapbook No. 2

Thoughts of a Working Mother

You cried the first time I left you, instinct told me why.
I wanted to take you home with me, but instead I wiped your eyes.
"I have to go to work now. I'll be back for you tonight."
To my tearful little angel those words must seem like spite.

You're gone so many hours and my desk is piled high,
I wish that I could see you and be there when you cry.
By now you must be playing, by noon you'll take a nap.
When lunchtime comes I'm praying that I could hold you in my lap.

If I could only see you, to watch you when you play,
I need to know you're happy and safe throughout the day.
I miss so many moments when you're away from me.
Like the crayons on your paper making picures for memory.

The day will soon be over and I'll be coming back to you.
I won't be at my best then 'cause most the day is through.
I know you'll be excited and thrilled that I've returned.
But can you ever comprehend how much for you I've yearned?

200!

Just 200 days to go, my oh my this time is speeding by. This pregnancy is SO different than the last. This time I am almost too busy to think about it. Sometimes 1/2 a day will go by and then... baby will pop into my head. Sounds silly huh? With the boys they were ALWAYS at the front of my thoughts, and now this time many things take the front burner. BUT when the babe does get a chance to pop to the front it sure makes me smile. Sometimes it makes me nervous as I question how I am going to be the Mom to three kids, where the boys will go when I go into labor, where the boys will go during doctor appointments, who will help watch them while we are in the hospital with the new baby, when/if I will go back to work, will baby be healthy and full term, how will the boys react to the baby, and CAN WE REALLY DO THIS?

Thankfully I have 200 days to smile, plan, and worry. Actually after talking with the doc last week, looks like maybe only 193. If we go with the planned c-section baby will come at 39 weeks, August 26th.

Happy Valentine's Day all! I was blessed to be able to wish the THREE men in my life Happy Valentine's this morning. Wednesday is out NT scan and consult with the specialist where we will learn more about when/if the cerclage will be placed, and of course get a nice long 45 minute peek at baby #3.

Bite

So this morning I grabbed a piece of cold pizza from the fridge (hey don't judge, a Mama gets hungry) to munch on and sat down at the table. Aaden noticed what I was doing and came over and said "up." I pulled him up on my lap and he said "bite!" I started giggling and gave him a bite of my pizza. This continued on and each time he would say "bite" until he had about 7 bites and was done with my pizza and wanted down. Awwww the little moments.

11 Weeks

How far along? 11 weeks
Total weight gain/loss: +3 lbs
Maternity clothes? Yes
Sleep: Okay, but not liking the side sleeping
Best moment this week: Besides an amazing Monday with my boys, seeing baby on screen.
Movement: Nope
Food cravings: Cinnabon cinnamon bread with cream cheese
Gender: Hoping for a princess
Labor Signs: No
Belly Button in or out? In
What I miss: Not bursting into tears at the drop of a hat
What I am looking forward to: Our next appointment and some movement
Weekly Wisdom: Life is too short to be anything, but truly happy.

On a yucky note Aaden went to the doctors yesterday for a goopy eye and it turns out he has pink eye AND an ear infection. Poor guy we had no idea he had an ear infection he has been perfectly fine, no cold, pulling on his ears or anything. So he is on antibiotic drops for his eye and of course the pink stuff for his ear. The drops are NOT fun to try and get in his eye, but we are doing our best to torture the poor child.

Why YES, I know I look 20 weeks pregnant. I am really POPPING out, but eh I blame it on the dress in part too. In the words of co-worker "oh my you are going to be huge." Haha, why yes I am. A little embaressed by that, but that is what happens when you still haven't lost your baby weight and belly from the last pregnancy. It's hard to be ashamed when something so marvelous is happening in there.

OB Appointment

Yesterday's appointment went great. So far my cervix looks completely normal. Baby was waving it's arms and legs, it was SO cute. I was blessed to have my Hubs and My Mama by my side for the appointment. I will not go back to the OB for another 6 weeks and won't even have an u/s at that appointment. I am so used to having ultrasounds at my appointments, boo to the lack of u/s on a Singleton pregnancy. Baby's heartbeat was 168 and he/she was wide awake showing off for us. I forgot what an amazing feeling it is to see your little one. And I forgot how much it makes me laugh, which then makes baby move all around on the screen.

We go to University of California San Francisco (UCSF) next week for our NT scan and a consult with an amazing High Risk OB, whom is HIGHLY well known and experienced with cerclages. So, I feel great about switching doctors because we are going to someone whom most would LOVE to see.

We have planned a VACAY! Whooot wooott! I CANNOT wait to escape with my favorite guys on vacation. We are going to San Diego, and this will be the boys first plane ride, we could drive, but the flight is REALLY cheap and 9 hours each way in the car sounds like pure torture, so I will take 1.5 hours of plane instead. Hoping maybe snacks, a movie, and as last resort a lollipop with make for an okay plane ride. We are planning to bring Elianna and will have the row of three for the five of us. We will go to the beach lots and also to Sea World and the zoo. This will be our special trip before the new baby comes, so we are hoping to make it fun for our little guys. When I saw that Sea World has a Sesame Street theme, I knew it was the place for them. And the beach, well that is for the Mama the Mama misses the beach so much. I am a sit in the sun on the beach sipping a tasty beverage kinda vacationer, and I have not had that since April 2008, so this will be a happy medium for us all because I will have my beach.

Cutie Bugs!

My little men full of infectious smiles, exploring minds, and giggles that make me melt. These two guys manage to make me smile day in and day out and I am honored to be their Mommy.

10 Weeks

Today I am 10 weeks pregnant and feeling VERY emotional. I can't wait to snap out of this and smile. For now I put one foot in front of the other and try not to let the emotions get the best of me. I'm trying to soak up every minute of this blessing and cherish this belly.

How far along? 10 weeks
Total weight gain/loss: +2 lbs (dropped a pound)
Maternity clothes? Yes
Sleep: So far so good
Best moment this week: Playing in the backyard with my boys
Movement: Nope
Food cravings: Cherry yogurt, strawberry frosted mini wheats, and strawberry jam
Gender: Hoping for a princess
Labor Signs: No
Belly Button in or out? In
What I miss: Sleeping on my back
What I am looking forward to: Our next appointment and some movement
Weekly Wisdom: Some things are better left un-said

Prayers Needed

My Husband's Niece has been married for a few years now, they wanted children right away. They have been trying for some time, and without any medical intervention she was blessed with a pregnancy and in fact is due the same day as me. We were so excited sharing stories, texts, and plans of taking exercise classes together or going on outings with our children. We were thrilled for her!

Everything seemed to be going fine until yesterday when she went in for her first appointment. She would have been 9w4d, the baby was measuring 9 weeks, which is fine, however after calling in two doctors they were unable to find the heartbeat.

We talked at length yesterday as I tried to give her hope since the baby was measuring okay, but today I learned she is also spotting. While this isn't really my story to share I was hoping you all could take a minute and say a little prayer for her, whether it be for the baby or for her strength. She will go in again on Friday and we pray things look up, she is preparing herself for her worst fear.

My heart aches for her as I recall these rollercoaster rides all too well. Gabe and I both agreed that we feel so guilty for all we have and we ache for her, I would NEVER want even my worst enemy to have to go on one of these rides. My heart is just breaking for her and her Husband.

In news of us, the boys got haircuts and they turned out great. They look like big boys! As for me, I am starting to feel pretty crummy. The sickies are setting in, but all so worth it. I now live on english muffins with strawberry jam, strawberry frosted mini wheats, hawaiian punch, nectarines, cherries, and cherry yogurt.


*****Update******
No heartbeat for baby at 10 week appointment. Mommy and Daddy are crushed, but hope to try again soon. They are giving her drugs to try to avoid a D&C. Please pray for their strength through this time.