23 Weeks and an Update (a day early)

We are now one week away from our first goal, and we are going to make it!

Our appointment today was just okay. Not horrible, but not great. My cervix has shortened and I blame myself. I didn't go crazy, but I had been doing little things here and there that I knew I shouldn't. So.... I am now at a little more than a 1.5, but the good news is that she says the cervix looks stable and she has every reason to think we will make it farther. I am crossing fingers that it will lengthen by my next appointment. I would feel much better being at a 2.

It is hard to explain, but while going through infertility I always felt as if I was defective and ashamed that I wasn't normal. Again, I feel defective so much so that I was ashamed to post this appointment update.

Needless to say I am bummed, I didn't want bad news, however I knew that some of the things I did around the house and the couple things I did outside the house were NOT a good idea. So, my light activity is no more. My days now consist of strict bedrest. I am bummed that we can't take our childbirth classes, bummed that I am stressed, bummed that we won't have a 3D ultrasound done, bummed that I won't get maternity photos done, and bummed that all I feel is scared and nervous. I wish that I could wake up tomorrow and be at 28 weeks.

I just need to remember that the doctor knows best, she said "see you in two weeks." She has every reason to believe we will make it another two weeks, so I need to believe too. If she was super worried she wouldn't have sent me home... and I must stress that she said the number is not as important as the fact that the cervix looked stable. She switched up my progesterone, which should help with some of these contractions that I am having. Not a lot... only about three a day.

Now don't go feeling all sorry for my defectiveness, just keep me and the boys in your prayers and rejoice in the fact that we have made it three weeks and that we only have ONE week left to viability.

Okay, since that is all out of the way, lets do some show and tell...

23 Week Belly (a day early)
No, I shouldn't have been out of the house, but it isn't very often that Andrea is in town from Arizona. I will say that I didn't stand much at all and we did bring my lounge chair to the BBQ. Drea rocks, she brought us a huge box of little Rian's clothes along with his Bumbo chair. Thank you so so so much, the four of us thank you from the bottom of our hearts. And I must say you and me have similar taste in little boy clothes, it is hard to explain, but I like boys clothes to look like BOY CLOTHES... no foo foo. Rian's clothes were PERFECT!!! Oh and BTW, my Mom wants to know what kind of detergent you use... she likes the smell. Hehe. Me, Rian, Noah, & Aaden

It isn't very often that we have had a chance to take a picture, so I figured we should take advantage of the photo opp.

Mine's bigger... I WIN!!

My all time favorite outfit for the boys thus far. Does this explain my taste in clothes? *See my bump... it got in the way.* I bought these sweaters and jeans with some of my birthday money and I have to admit that I only paid $22 with shipping for the outfits. Crazy 8, a spin off of Gymboree (but better boy clothes in my opinion) had a $10 off coupon and $5 shipping. I also picked up two more pairs of jeans each for only $6.

Thanks for the morning wake up! Phoenix found his Grammy's (my Mom's) lip stick and took it upon himself to destroy it. What a way to start the morning. You should see the carpet, it is almost as pink as him.

Oh, the ads... the ads are gone. They disabled my account, supposedly from "invalid activity" , invalid or obsessive clicks. Whatever... I was a little ticked at first, but I often wonder if it was because my account was at over $120 and grew so fast. Oh well, I appealed it and still they won't reinstate it. Sort of bummed, that money would have been nice since my diability check is still no where in sight and in fact was just finally submitted yesterday.