A HUGE thank you to those of you who sent me emails or contacted me on g-chat. You all made me feel better and not so alone in what I am feeling. I have yet to really talk to anyone other than a couple people in real life about this. I feel stupid for even feeling like this, and I feel ungrateful. While TTC I always wondered how anyone with a kids could be sad, or could be unhappy. It was all I ever wanted, so now that I am here I don't know how to take feeling like this. So... I plaster on a smile and tread forward. Of course the doctor and DH know, I sort of mentioned it to my Mom, and a co-worker, and of course Drea is always around to let me vent and cheer me up (thanks for that BTW.)
My rest of yesterday went much better. Once the boys woke up, I decided to plaster a smile on my face, ignore the stuff that had to be done (although I got a lot done during naps, which helped my mood as well), and just enjoy my boys. We played and played in the backyard with pop up tents, which I hadn't pulled out since their 1st birthday party. Then we came in and they played in the playroom while I made spaghetti. We ate messy spaghetti then topped it off with chocolate ice cream. We had baths, then played trains for an hour until Daddy came home to tuck them snug in their beds.
All in all, I am feeling a lot better thanks to you guys and just ignoring some of what I am feeling. Today is day two of thyroid medicine, hoping by this weekend I start to notice a difference. I will leave you with a couple of videos from yesterday. If anything can make me smile, it's these two. And for those of you who don't have 13 minutes to watch the video from our vacation (don't blame you), I have posted a handful of my favorite pictures. Okay, okay a VERY large handful because I just couldn't decide I love them all so much. And YES I know they are way out of order, but don't have the time to fix the order. I tried once, but still they came over out of order.
1 day ago