San Diego Vacation

I made a picture/video slide show. It's a bit long (13 minutes), but pretty cute if you have the time. I planned to blog about details of the vacation, but I am going to pass today. I am really in a deep funk, so much that I went in to see my OB yesterday. I just kept saying "this isn't me." Crying, angry, frustrated, easily irritated, heart pounding out of my chest, can't catch my breath. Something is truly up with me. All I want is to smile and be back to my old self. My OB thinks it is my thyroid. I was on thyroid medicine for a long while, not because my numbers were off, but because my thyroid is enlarged and we were willing to try ANYTHING back when we were TTC and adding the thyroid med was one of them. I was on it for about three years and all through my pregnancy with the boys. Last year when money was tight, I didn't go in to the appointment to get it refilled and figured it really wasn't a big thing since my numbers were the same on or off the meds. Well the Doc seems to think I truly do need them so today was day one back on them. We will discuss it again next week at my BIG ultrasound. If it is helping, GREAT, if not we will discuss a mild anxiety/depression med. I was against it at first, BUT with how I am feeling I will do anything to feel like myself again, not to mention he fears for PPD later down the road if we don't tackle some of this now. Doc mentioned that my mood being like this really can effect the baby and we have to get it figured out. At the office I took the test, which I have taken many times to evaluate my mood and scored off the chart in a bad way this time. Not fun, but I wanted to be truthful, some of those questions were HANDS DOWN how I am feeling. What the heck is going on with me? Who is this? Why can't I smile? Why can't I relax and enjoy this beautiful sunny day off at home with my boys. Seriously, who am I?

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