And Now We Wait

Wow... what a roller coaster it has
been. I apologize for not updating sooner, I just needed to keep my mind in the right place these last couple of days. So, on Friday at retrieval we ended up with only nine eggs. Needless to say after all that build up I was disappointed, but still hopeful. Come to find out, the HCG shot I was given before the retrieval somehow was not absorbed by my body the way they thought it would and the eggs were not ready to be released from the follicles, I guess I needed a higher dose than they thought. After the nine, I just kept praying they all fertilized. Saturday morning the embryologist called to tell us that only four of them fertilized. At that point I was devastated, but decided to focus my energy on hoping that all four did well and made it to transfer day, but knew the odds were slim. The doctor decided on a three day transfer because of our small number of eggs.

Monday morning St. Patrick's Day, (the luckiest day of the year) was probably the most nervous I have EVER been. I dreaded the ring of my phone for fear of it being the hospital and informing us that there was no need to come down. No call... so we headed to the hospital and were set for a 11 a.m. transfer. Finally it was out turn and inside they checked to see if my bladder was full, and of course it was....OUCH! At the point we decided that if they were checking that we must have had at least one embryo that made it. I felt this small feeling of relief as we waited a bit more. Finally the embryologist came in to discuss the embryos... yes that was plural. I could hardly believe it and burst into tears when he handed me a picture of ALL four and said they were all doing well. I was so happy and felt like a fool for crying, but just couldn't hold back. He went on to explain that all were well, but some were moving along faster than others. We had one that was a grade 1 perfect embryo, which had already compacted. We also had two grade 2's and one grade 3, all of which could be perfectly healthy babies (anything grade #1 - #4 could be transfered). After not much contemplation and some provoking by the doctor about my young age and the great quality of the embies we decided to transfer only the perfect grade 1 and the best of the grade 2ers, and the doctor was so hopeful. The other two will be watched until Wednesday and if they continue to do well, we will have the option to freeze them, which of course is expensive, but very worth not having to go through this with baby #2 or #3. Heheheeh.

The transfer went flawless... and now we wait. Waiting is the hardest part. I couldn't decided what I should be feeling or how I should be acting, so I decided to be overly optimistic and talk to the babies liand imagine what could be. I thought about it for a while and decided that no matter how I act right now, a bad outcome will be bad no matter how close I get to the embies and how excited I am the next week and a half. Imagining this working should only be better for the health of the babies today. So I have decided to be excited and not worry about the outcome. I haven't been this close it a LONG time, so we are going to enjoy it and be excited. If something bad happens I will deal with it then, but for now I have two little embryos in my belly and I will enjoy it and NOT worry. I am on strict bed rest for three days, but was recommended to take a week. I am already starting to get restless, but I am willing to do WHATEVER I have to do to make this work. Now grow and stick little babies. Another GIANT step closer!






It is hard to see on the picture, I will try to scan it, but it is a white blob at the top of the black area about 1/2 inch from the top. Or look at the diagonal line on the far left side of the ultrasound and then go straight across to the middle and that is them. I know.. I know you probably don't see it, but we did and it was AMAZING to see it. Today we feel so blessed and so hopeful.