I used to wonder how people with kids could ever be sad? How people with a gorgeous family could ever have problems? Could ever be depressed?

I remember thinking, when we are blessed with children, things will be "perfect." I will never frown, and will always smile.

Don't get me wrong, these boys have brought boat loads of smiles to my life, however things are far from perfect. I wonder how can I be sad and frustrated with these angels by my side? But I am.

This has been a rough month. Let me just be honest. We are walking away from our house after much contemplation. We have been trying to modify for over a year now and were officially denied a modification and in fact our mortgage payment was raised to $3,400 a month. Could we make that payment? Yes, we could, but that would involve a lot of financial struggling along with me working full time. We went back and forth on it and finally decided that me working just three days a week was important right now.

Further more we are SO far upside down (approx. $200,000) we don't know when we would EVER catch up. We had always thought we would like to move to a bigger home when the boys were four years old. Well at this rate, no way would we be right side up on our house by then, let alone ahead to have a down payment on a new one. If this was our dream home and in the perfect neighborhood and just the right size, I could see making the struggle, but it's not. And although this pains us deeply, this is the choice we have decided to make. We are short selling our house and hoping someone makes a decent offer that the banks agree to so that we can move on and get passed this.

Will this hurt our credit? Yes, it will, but with a short sale we can hopefully buy again in three years or so. We plan to put away quite a bit of money so that when that time comes we will have a decent down payment on the home of our dreams that we plan to stay in forever, and well um maybe bring another baby into.

Sometimes things happen for a reason. Sometimes things fall into place, sometimes things are just meant to be. A friend of ours has agreed to rent us a beautiful home on a court in a great neighborhood. This house is almost twice the size of our 900 square foot home, and has 2 1/2 baths, vs. our one bathroom.

I pray that this is all meant to be and for the best. I pray that the next 6 months go as smoothly as possible, I pray that our embarrassment fades quickly, I pray that our relationship can stay strong through this rough time, I pray that my tears subside, and I pray that through all this hecticness I still stop, smile, and play just as much with my little miracles. I pray that we are doing the right thing for our miracles because they come FIRST!


Fullers1006 said...

I know how you feel. We did this last summer and it does get easier. You will be so much happier once things are done. We stayed in out house for like 8 months before it finally sold and the bank agreed. Just keep your head up and don't be embarressed your not the first to do this and won't be the last. Well hope things go smoothly! Your boys are ADORABLE!!!

Christina said...

When you have kids, it makes life even harder because your thinking about not only yourself, but 2 little ones that come first...
I think your making the right choice, and I hope it works out!

Meant to be a mom said...

I'm so sorry to hear about your struggles. I don't blame you one bit for being unhappy about how it turned out. But you seem to be in the right mind set. Your right, God has a plan for you and your family. Apparently this is what was meant to be. My prayers are with you guys.

Joy said...

Big hug, I know this is a decision you have been struggling with for quite sometime. Praying the next few months goes smoothly.

Anonymous said...

A house is just four walls but a home is what you make it into and I know you will make anywhere a wonderfull home for you and your family.

Much Love, aunt Theresa

Anonymous said...

PS - now and days it's not an embarrassment to walk away, it's life. You are doing a wonderful job and you know what is important, being with your boys. Money comes and goes but your family is there forever.

Love again, Uncle Allan, Theresa and Grandma

Anonymous said...

Life! As wonderful as it is... MAN can it be difficult. I know how you feel. I have some really tough desicions to make right now, and I am bogged down with the stress of it often. I know if it wasn't for my two little ones, I wouldn't survive some of the things I go through.
Good luck with everything Tiff!

Anonymous said...

omg. everyone i know is so upside down in their house! i really howaype the market recovers soon and we can all start to feel "normal" again. whatever that means, anyway!. i was just starting to stress out the other day about what we would do if we had to do something major to the house. in the "olden" days people would take out a second mortgage, but now that's not possible. yuck. i hate it.

at any rate, i know this is a tough decision. hang in there!

Anonymous said...

Hi, you don't know me and neither I you. But, I ran across your page while viewing a friends.
I just wanted to say, hey, forget the embarressment. You have done what you can and our economy has let us all down. Just a few short yrs ago things would have been diff in the financial world, but today I say, Cut your losses, move on, enjoy your blessings. Believe me the house would have been a happiness drainer down the road. Hold your head up high, smile and know you are doing what is best for you all. Houses come and go but family and happiness is all that matters. Enjoy life!

CMorgan said...

I have faith that you will make it through this. I started following your blog and have seen everything you have been through and you are a strong person. Stronger than I could ever be. Just remember you are surrounded by friends and family and each I am sure are supportive. Hang in there. If you ever need anything holler at me :)