Yes, I guess that is me, selfish! I should have known that comment was coming. I am not sure why I am still allowing these anonymous comments, but I am, and I get it! I get where you are coming from and I have been there. I know what you mean!
When I couldn't get pregnant it was hard for me to understand why someone would be upset over secondary infertility or how they could ever complain about ANYTHING when they had one beautiful baby. So just know that I GET IT!
When I had friends that got married around the same time as DH and I and they were on baby number two or even three, it hurt. It truly hurt even more than baby number one. It made me feel like "hey, you already have one... spread the wealth." It also hurt to hear people complain about their babies tantrums, lack of sleep, or problems having number two or three. So, yes I get it and hey... I said it, it just isn't meant to be and I will get over it, but this is my blog and I vented because for me it is yet another hurdle in my baby journey. Yes, I have felt much more pain than this, but still just knowing that having another baby won't be a walk in the park is yet another blow, but I KNOW your pain, please understand that I do.
I am here now in a different place than some of you, and this is a place I never thought I would be, and for that I am grateful. I said it over and over again that I am so extremely blessed for my boys, and YES I am selfish to be asking for more. But still it hurts yet again that what I wish for may not come true. It will NEVER measure up to you women that are still on the journey for a baby, but just know that the pain never truly goes away, and maybe it is SELFISH, but I still feel slightly incomplete.
I never wrote this to hurt anyone, I was just expressing what happened in my appointment and the sadness I feel. I never meant for this to offend anyone, it is just more of my journey, but I know that in no way does it compare to some of yours. I remember seeing baby pictures on some blogs and I just knew that in no way could they be as sad as incomplete as me, but please remember that I too was on the same journey for a very long time.
I thank the lord each night and again each morning for what he has blessed us with, I pray that he will bless you too. What is meant to be, will be for us. I was blessed doubly and yes, MAYBE it is selfish to ask for ever more.
2 days ago