There are women who become mothers without effort.
And although they are good mothers and love their children, I know that I will be better.
I will be a better mother not because of genetics, money, or that I have read better books, But because I have struggled and toiled for this child.
I have longed and waited. I have endured and planned over and over again.
Like most things in life, people who truly have appreciation are those who have struggled to attain their dreams.
I will notice everything about my child.
I will take the time to watch my child sleep, explore and discover.
I will marvel at this miracle every day for the rest of my life.
I will be happy when I wake in the middle of the night to the sound of my child, Knowing that I can comfort, hold and feed and that I'm not waking because of my own nightmares and crying tears of a broken dream.
My dream will be crying for me.
I have been given an insight, a special vision with which I will look upon my child.
A vision that my friends may not see.
Whether I parent a child I give birth to or a child God leads me to, I will not be careless with my love.
I will be a better mother for all I have endured.
I am a better Aunt, a better Wife, a better Daughter, Neighbor, friend and Sister because I have known pain, known disillusionment, been betrayed by my own body and been tried by a fire and Hell that many will never face.
And given time, I stood tall.
So now, when others hurt around me, I do not run from their pain in order to save myself discomfort.
I see it, mourn it and join them in theirs.
And even though I cannot make it better, I can make it less lonely.
I have learned the immense power of another hand holding tight to mine, of others eyes that moisten as they accept harsh truths, when life is beyond hard.
For all this, I will become a better Mother!