Perfect

I used to wonder how people with kids could ever be sad? How people with a gorgeous family could ever have problems? Could ever be depressed?

I remember thinking, when we are blessed with children, things will be "perfect." I will never frown, and will always smile.

Don't get me wrong, these boys have brought boat loads of smiles to my life, however things are far from perfect. I wonder how can I be sad and frustrated with these angels by my side? But I am.

This has been a rough month. Let me just be honest. We are walking away from our house after much contemplation. We have been trying to modify for over a year now and were officially denied a modification and in fact our mortgage payment was raised to $3,400 a month. Could we make that payment? Yes, we could, but that would involve a lot of financial struggling along with me working full time. We went back and forth on it and finally decided that me working just three days a week was important right now.

Further more we are SO far upside down (approx. $200,000) we don't know when we would EVER catch up. We had always thought we would like to move to a bigger home when the boys were four years old. Well at this rate, no way would we be right side up on our house by then, let alone ahead to have a down payment on a new one. If this was our dream home and in the perfect neighborhood and just the right size, I could see making the struggle, but it's not. And although this pains us deeply, this is the choice we have decided to make. We are short selling our house and hoping someone makes a decent offer that the banks agree to so that we can move on and get passed this.

Will this hurt our credit? Yes, it will, but with a short sale we can hopefully buy again in three years or so. We plan to put away quite a bit of money so that when that time comes we will have a decent down payment on the home of our dreams that we plan to stay in forever, and well um maybe bring another baby into.

Sometimes things happen for a reason. Sometimes things fall into place, sometimes things are just meant to be. A friend of ours has agreed to rent us a beautiful home on a court in a great neighborhood. This house is almost twice the size of our 900 square foot home, and has 2 1/2 baths, vs. our one bathroom.

I pray that this is all meant to be and for the best. I pray that the next 6 months go as smoothly as possible, I pray that our embarrassment fades quickly, I pray that our relationship can stay strong through this rough time, I pray that my tears subside, and I pray that through all this hecticness I still stop, smile, and play just as much with my little miracles. I pray that we are doing the right thing for our miracles because they come FIRST!