Happy 50th Birthday Mom/Grammy

Happy Birthday Mom. I think it is safe to say that one of the biggest things you could wish for today on your special day is finally coming true. I am so happy that you will finally be a Grammy and even better... times two! Cheer up 50 is not so bad, being 50 means you are closer to being a Grammy and you can get AARP discounts. I love you!

Love,
Tiffany

Dear Grammy,

Happy Birthday! We cannot wait to meet you, but we will... we promise (until atleast September). Next year at this time you will be holding us in your arms. I hope you have a wonderful 50th birthday. We have such a beautiful Grammy!

Love,
The Pumpkins

P.S. We bought you a present, and cannot wait for you to open it.

Yes, that is baby Elianna. Wow, how time has flown.

Holy Moly Bladder

They were not kidding, gesssshhhh I might as well just live in the bathroom.

Last week was a very emotional week between the loss of Bill, the reality that we will probably lose Ozzy, and the debate we had about getting rid of Memphis. I look forward to weeks that are not full of so much emotion and I look forward to what I hope is a very memorable weekend.

Happy Easter! Happy Easter!

14 Weeks

Your adorable little fetus is busy with thumb sucking, toe wiggling, and (not so cute but equally amazing) making urine and breathing amniotic fluid as the liver, kidneys and spleen continue to develop. Lanugo (thin, downy hair) is growing all over the body for warmth. http://www.thebump.com/

Welcome to the second trimester! This week's big developments: Your baby can now squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his thumb. Thanks to brain impulses, his facial muscles are getting a workout as his tiny features form one expression after another. His kidneys are producing urine, which he releases into the amniotic fluid around him — a process he'll keep up until birth. He can grasp, too, and if you're having an ultrasound now, you may even catch him sucking his thumb. In other news: Your baby's stretching out. From head to bottom, he measures 3 1/2 inches — about the size of a lemon — and he weighs 1 1/2 ounces. http://www.babycenter.com/

OB Appointment

Yes, I had an OB appointment today and I have been keeping it a secret for one reason and one reason only. Saturday is my Mom's 50th Birthday and I was hoping to surprise her with the genders of the babies. Unfortunately it was too soon to tell, but I am happy to report that the babies looked great and the OB made a gender guess. Now remember this is just a guess... actually determination shouldn't be done until 18 weeks (my next appt. 5.5.09).

OB'S GUESS:
Baby A - Boy
Baby B - Girl

He saw something between Baby A's legs and looked and looked and could find nothing between Baby B's. He told me not to trust it, but I asked for a guess and a guess I got, and guess what? I LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I sure hope he is right.

I have been referred onto the Periontologist/Maternal Fetal Specialist. This is the doctor we saw for the NT scan. I will still be seeing the OB in town once a month, but I will also go to Walnut Creek every 4 - 6 weeks. In Walnut Creek they will be doing more thorough ultrasounds and cervix checks. I am very happy with this, not because I don't feel my OB is capable, but just because I want to be certain all is well and in Walnut Creek they specialize in multiples. I am also glad because the ultra sound machine in the other office is FANTASTIC, which means BETTER PICTURES!

How Twins Are Made

Happy Birthday Monica!

Happy 22nd Birthday to my Sister-In-Law Monica.

We love you!

Sad, Sad, and I Felt Them Move

I am sad, just plain old sad. On Saturday afternoon I lost someone near and dear to me. For those of you who don't know me IRL probably don't know that I have been at the same job for almost ten years now. Technically I have six bosses, most of which have been working together for the last 25 years. These bosses have always been like Uncles to me. They have helped to make me who I am.

On Saturday my boss William Andrew Blanchfield passed away. It took this to make realize what these men truly mean to me. I hadn't realized how much they influenced me and what a part they played in my life. Bill will be forever missed, and the office will not be the same without him. My life will not be the same without him.

I could go on and on with stories, but I won't. I will say that Bill didn't have a mean bone in his body and would go out of his way to help anyone. I will always remember the afternoon deep in the middle of our journey, Bill knew I was very down... he went out and bought me this beautiful potted flower to help cheer me up. That was the kind of man he was. He knew how hard we worked to get where we are and he was so happy for us. I am sad that he will not be able to meet the babies.

I will miss the candies he occasionally left on my desk, his sense of humor and wit, and his wonderful stories. Please rest in peace my Uncle and my friend, you are missed. Not a morning will go by that I don't think of you as I walk through the office doors, not a day will go by that I don't remember you as I pass your office.

On a happy note, I am 99% sure I am feeling the babies move and it is AMAZING. I can't wait until Gabe can feel them too.

On another sad note our cat Ozzy is very very very ill. We are having to force feed him and give him an IV with fluids. I sure hope he pulls through this, I stinking love that cat, he had this once before and made it through, lets just cross our fingers that he can again. As Gabe says "he is our first born, and he has to stick around to meet his babies." I love you Ozzy!

Just Can't Shake Her

My old friend infertility. I still consider myself infertile, for some reason I can't shake that bitch of a friend. I still catch myself avoiding pregnant women, or people chatting about their little ones. I find it hard to think too far ahead and to make happy plans for our future. I find I still relate so much more to infertiles than I do pregnant women. I am still jealous of pregnant women, and I am one of them. This bitch really screwed me up and I truly despise her for what she has done to me.

I have waited for this for so very long and now that it is here I am not allowing myself to fully enjoy it. I know why, it's because I am scared. Scared of yet another disappointment. Good things fertility wise just don't happen for me. I find myself saving for the thought of having to use our frozen embryos. What the heck is wrong with me? Don't get me wrong I have found these last few months to be some of the VERY best in my life, but not a day goes by that I don't wonder when the black cloud will come to visit. I don't want to be like this, I am trying so hard to shake her.

I want to be carefree and excited. Well, I am excited, but fear is always looming. Maybe it is somewhat normal or maybe I am nut, but I think she scarred me for life and has made me overly cautious. She has forever changed me. She made me bitter, angry, sad, depressed, fearful, and hopeless. I am glad that bitch is gone and I pray she never comes back to haunt me.

Although I truly hate her I also thank her. I thank her for allowing me to walk the path which in a way has made me a stronger and less naive woman. I thank her for showing me just what a special gift it is to be pregnant and not to take any moment of it for granted. I thank her for somehow strengthening my marriage, and giving my husband the strength and know how to support me. I thank her for leaving my life and making my dreams come true. I thank her most of all for the people who supported me, without you I couldn't have made it through some of those down right horrible days.

Now stay away my friend and don't ever come back. I also ask that you stay away from my friends. We have learned what we needed to learn and walked the path, now make our dreams come true. We deserve it!

Yesterday's statement to my dear dear husband at the end of a crazy day "I don't dread getting out of bed anymore, I don't even care what day of the week it is. Each day is wonderful and fantastic, I am so glad I am finally here."

The tears were worth it, the broken hearts were worth it, and that winding road seems bearable because it leads me right here to a love and a feeling I never thought I would get to get to (stealing the song again). I love you my sweet pumpkins more than you will ever understand, and not a day goes by that I don't realize what a miracle you both are. I know that I thank you countless times a day Lord, but thank you for blessing us with this miracle and thanks for forcing my friend to leave.

A Little Show and Some Tell

Laneya: "I think the babies are a girl and a boy, and you should name them... Unicorn and Charlie!"Only in VEGAS BABY!

Mommy, we are sitting nicely, can we have a treat?

Hi Mommy, thanks for the new bones WE LOVE THEM!

Mom, can you please tell me how to get this ear down?

Now, that's a belly! 13w1d

Oh BTW I hate my camera! On Thanksgiving the flash went out on our old camera. So what do I do? Hop online with NO RESEARCH and buy a new Canon, which I assumed was fine, but was cheap. Regret... regret... regret! The camera sucks!!!!!!!!!! I want a new one so bad. We went to look at some over the weekend, but I can't bring myself to do it since I just spent $150 in November on one. Then the real questions come: How good of a camera do we want? If we get a good one with lenses and what not, then I have to learn to use it, and it won't fit in my purse. So what is a girl to do? I know I want a Canon, but this SD770IS is pootie! Seriously I have to correct the red eye on pretty much every photo I take and they all seem dark. My Vegas pictures are pure and utter crap! errrgghhh... and if I do get a new one, what do I do with this one? Maybe the settings are wrong, maybe it is a lemon. What should I buy? Should I stick it out? I will say the video quality is pretty good, and every once in awhile the photo quality is fantastic. Maybe I am just nuts. Yup that is it, I am hormonal and nutty and need to leave the poor camera alone, it is just doing its job.

13 Weeks, and a Day I Have Only Dreamt of

Your fetus is forming teeth and vocal cords... savor this, their non-functional phase. Baby is approaching normal proportions, with a head now only one third the size of the body. Intestines are in the process of moving from the umbilical cord to baby's tummy. (Much more convenient.)
http://www.thebump.com/

Fingerprints have formed on your baby's tiny fingertips, her veins and organs are clearly visible through her still-thin skin, and her body is starting to catch up with her head — which makes up just a third of her body size now. If you're having a girl, she now has more than 2 million eggs in her ovaries. Your baby is almost 3 inches long (the size of a medium shrimp) and weighs nearly an ounce.
http://www.babycenter.com/

How far along? 13 weeks
Total weight gain/loss: 8 lbs.
Maternity clothes? Of course, have been since about 6 weeks. Hehehe
Sleep: Sleeping well about 9 hours per night, minus two BR trips per night
Best moment this week: Belly rubs and belly kisses from family at a BBQ last weekend
Movement: Maybe, I think I felt something
Food cravings: Grilled cheese, quesadillas, and fruit
Gender: Hoping it is a boy and a girl
Labor Signs: No
Belly Button in or out? In
What I miss: Deli sammies
What I am looking forward to: Feeling the babies move
Weekly Wisdom: Worrying is NOT good for the babies
Milestones: Reaching 12 weeks and seeing the babies movie on the NT scan.

If you have a minute, pop on over to Erin's blog Hoping for our own peanut http://terobertson.blogspot.com/ I found her the cutest onesie for her little peanut and I just couldn't resist. She is SO very right, this "blog family" we created has really helped keep me together and bring me through the roughest of days and also helped to celebrate some of the best days. I cherish each and every one of you and would be lost without you.

This past weekend had only been something I have dreamt of. I spent Saturday morning clearing out "the babies room" and going through Elianna's baby things and envisioning what the room might look like decorated. To top it off, later that afternoon we went to a family BBQ. It was truly amazing... belly rubs and belly kisses along with questions about the babies and compliments of my glowing. I couldn't ask for much more and have waited for this for so long.

Comment of the night...

Serena (age 6): "Hey Tiffany, I got a babysitter game, so when the babies come I can babysit!"

Awwww how I love that girl, she has been my "baby fix" for the last 6 years. As her Mama says, I am like her other Mother. Oh how I cherish that sweet baby. She will make a good babysitter, but I don't think she will be quite ready for our little ones just yet, but someday.

Wow, no denying that large bump. Feeling good this week and getting some of my energy back. Did I mention that Memphis now knows how to open doors? What the heck? As I am typing the back door just swung open and in came barreling TROUBLE. Ahhhh such is life. My life, and I couldn't ask for much more.